ERASED

Eraserheads: The Reunion Concert
The Eraserheads’ reunion concert at the Bonifacio Global City open field was cut short when frontman Ely Buendia collapsed. He was stressed, tired, and couldn’t stand sharing the stage with erstwhile close pal Raimund Marasigan of Sandwich.

After a short introduction, the Eraserheads performed 15 songs continuously with no spiels and hardly a break. Ely Buendia wanted to finish the concert early so he could stop pretending to be friends with his former band mates.

The Eraserheads’ reunion concert at the Bonifacio Global City open field was cut short when frontman Ely Buendia collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. Nurses at the Makati Medical Center were starstruck to see Ely – the only famous person to be admitted at the cash-strapped hospital in recent years.

Some 60 thousand fans came to watch the Eraserheads’ reunion concert at the Bonifacio Global City last night. Producer MTV Philippines described the event as historic… mainly because it’s the only concert where MTV Philippines didn’t actually lose millions.

Reports say attendance to the Eraserheads’ reunion concert eclipsed the record set by the Beyoncé concert held earlier this year. Producers are now toying with the idea of staging a reunion concert – for the Introvoys. (Altogether now… “If I ever had a line to heaven I swear/I’d call you there…”)

An estimated 60 thousand fans flocked to the Bonifacio Open Field to witness the reunion concert of the Eraserheads. It was also the biggest gathering of UP alumni ever.

Some 10 thousand people who failed to get tickets stayed outside the arena as if they were listening to the radio… minus the patently annoying spiels of Love Radio DJs.

Tiya Dely
Tiya Dely Magpayo, the 88-year-old radio veteran, suffered a stroke at around 11pm, Saturday. Relatives denied rumors her blood pressure shot up when she learned that she spent P1,370 for a one-set-only reunion concert of the Eraserheads.

PBA Draft
Gabe Norwood and Jared Dilinger became the first and second overall picks at the PBA Rookie Draft today. As I have mentioned before, the number of foreign players in the PBA has become so alarming, there will come a time when the only genuine Filipinos left in the hard court are the referees.

THE FIGHT IS ON

Pacquiao vs. DeLa Hoya
Reports say Manny Pacquiao and Oscar De La Hoya are scheduled to meet on December 6 for the 100 million dollar-welterweight fight. Both camps have agreed to push through with the eagerly-awaited bout which stands to benefit De La Hoya and Pacquiao… as well as GMA7 and Solar Sports.

Annabelle Rama vs. Wilma Galvante
According to talent manager Annabelle Rama, GMA7 senior vice president for entertainment Wilma Galvante is “a devil.” Galvante opted to ignore Rama’s potshot but made it clear that if provoked again, she might retaliate… with her pitchfork.

Cruz and Condom
Lingayen-Dagupan Archbishop Oscar Cruz said the use of condom is not 100 percent effective versus HIV. To prove his claim, he’s now gathering statistics on the number of HIV-positive sacristans.

MJ Turns 50
Michael Jackson who turned 50 years old on August 29 says he is very proud of his achievements… particularly, his uber-successful transformation from a cute, black American boy to a scary white American girl.

MJ Turns 50 II
Yesterday, August 29 Michael Jackson turned 50 years old… or just a few more years before he finally completes the world’s first ever case of reverse evolution.

Check this out: The History of Michael Jackson’s Face

GIRL POWER

Forbes’ Most Powerful Women
According to the newly-released ranking of Forbes Magazine, President Arroyo is the 41st most powerful woman in the world today. Mrs. Arroyo was cited for having survived three impeachment attempts, three coup plots, and three bouts with upset stomach and diarrhea.

President Arroyo is the 41st most powerful woman in the world today. That’s 10 places higher than her previous position. The ranking was based on press mentions, economic growth, wealth, and in Mrs. Arroyo’s case, the ability to create a new nation within a nation.

President Arroyo is one of the most powerful women in the world today… to which the First Gentleman said, “Of course I know. ‘Coz she’s always on top!”

Tax Evader?
The Supreme Court junked actress Judy Ann Santos’ motion to review the tax evasion case filed against her by the Bureau of Internal Revenue in 2005. Sought for a reaction, Juday told the Philippine Daily Inquirer, “Ipapasa-Diyos ko na lang ito,” to which the Lord said, “Ipapasa na naman? Ano ka Meralco?”

Anti-Corruption Center
Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez says the first ever institution in Asia that will focus on the study of corruption will be built here in the Philippines… mainly because we can supply the most number of experts on the subject.

Meralco Refund
The Manila Electric Company will start giving meter deposit refund plus interest to an estimated 1.8 million Meralco residential customers in November. To complement Meralco’s pa-pogi and pa-underdog campaign, Judy Ann Santos will be asked to shoot another infomercial… in jail.

GAME OVER

Mindanao Conflict
Reports say the military has captured at least 15 camps of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front in Central Mindanao. The largest of the 15, located in Maguindanao is known as Camp Vietnam and is equipped with watchtowers and an obstacle course… further fueling speculations the rebels are now secretly training their own contingent for the 2012 London Olympics.

Postscript to Beijing
The Beijing Olympics is officially over. London is preparing now for the staging of the quadrennial games in 2012. Michael Phelps is preparing to equal his eight gold medal-haul; Usain Bolt is preparing to break his century dash record, and Peping Cojuangco of the Philippine Olympic Committee is preparing for the barrage of criticisms, insults, and backbiting when he arrives in Manila.

Pacquiao on Pinoy Athletes
Manny Pacquiao is reportedly saddened by our athletes’ monumental failure in the Beijing Olympics… but is nonetheless relieved that nobody would collect his promised incentive of one million pesos.

Good Work
The Chinese government praised its entire police force for keeping the Beijing Olympics secure and peaceful. The cops find the commendation unusual because normally, they only receive praises when they shoot Tibetan protesters.

Briefly Noted:
The Inquirer and the Flag Carrier
Yesterday, August 24, Inquirer sports editor Teddyvic Melendrez wrote that Miguel Molina was “robbed” of the chance to carry the Philippine flag during the opening of the Beijing Olympics. Melendrez had written a week ago that Molina was “unceremoniously dispossessed of the honor by Manny Pacquiao.” The rest of the world is talking about winning medals and yet, Filipinos are still bickering over who should have carried the flag. Petty.

Tabloid Offices Robbed
At least 10 unidentified motorcycle-riding men brandishing handguns and shotguns robbed the offices of two tabloids – Remate and Tiktik in Port Area, Manila before dawn today. The robbers carted away P160,000 from Tiktik, P20,000 from Remate… and from both offices, the final drafts of several sleazy advice columns that were scheduled to be published next week.

Annabelle Rama vs. GMA 7
Feisty talent manager Annabelle Rama is fuming mad over GMA7’s decision to stage the post-birthday blowout show of Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes on Wednesday, August 27 at the Araneta Coliseum, the same day her son Richard and KC Concepcion’s movie will open. Rama has threatened to transfer his sons Richard and Raymond to ABS-CBN to which Gabby Lopez allegedly said, “Richard? Sure, why not? Raymond? Hmmm… Piolo, Sam, Uma, Eric Santos, Jed Madela… let me check huh if we still have room for one more.”

FAMOUS EPITAPHS

Top 15 Epitaphs of Local Celebrities

15: German Moreno: “Kahit saan, kahit kailan, walaaaaaang tulugan.”

14: Tim Yap: “Buhay coke, tikman n’yo. Ang sarap dito.”

13: Madam Auring: “Where she truly belongs.”

12: Jamby Madrigal: “My relatives were right. Health is wealth.”

11: Former Press Sec. Ignacio Bunye: “The epitaph you are reading has been edited. In fact, there are two epitaphs. One is fake, the other is the original.”

10: Kris Aquino: “A caring mother. A loving daughter. A loyal wife. Promise, true ‘yan. Ask n‘yo pa si Boy. Ahahahah!”

9: Jose Maria Sison: “In self-exile… forever.”

8: Meralco chairman Manuel Lopez: “May liwanag ang (kabilang) buhay.”

7: Jocjoc Bolante: “Ready for his final mission: To fertilize the earth.”

6: MILF chairman Al Haj Murad: “Finally… peace.”

5: Sen. Manuel Villar: “Inside his final housing project.”

4: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “Veni, vidi, vicky.”

3: Joseph Estrada: “That’s all Polk!”

2: Cong. Jose De Venecia: “Reunited with his political career.”

And the No. 1 celebrity epitaph…

1: President Arroyo: “Here lies…”

NUTS AND BOLT

Arroyo on MILF Attacks
President Arroyo ordered the military and the police yesterday to “defend every inch” of the country from Moro Islamic Liberation Front rebels. The last time the president employed such strategy was at the height of the Vicky Toh-Mike Arroyo illicit affair controversy when she was forced to “defend every inch” of the First Gentleman.

Traffic Cameras
The Metro Manila Development Authority will install wireless traffic surveillance cameras at major intersections in Metro Manila. In doing so, the MMDA hopes to monitor traffic conditions, respond faster to road accidents, and to finally capture the guy who spray-paints Bayani Fernando’s tarpaulins.

Fastest Man
Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt re-established himself as the world’s fastest man when he set a new world record in the century dash in Beijing. The Olympic Games’ marathon event has yet to start although the unofficial record is still held by the Philippines’ Jocjoc Bolante who, as of press time, is still running.

Joey-Willie Rift 2?
Willie Revillame hit Joey De Leon for the latter’s joke which compared Pokwang (Revillame’s co-host) to an aswang. Sought for her reaction, Pokwang, who opted to remain positive replied, “Deadma na lang!” She then spread her wings and took flight.

Cancer Stricken
A semi-retired actress who just turned 41 last March has cancer. She underwent mastectomy recently. Her family requested showbiz scribes not to write about her condition. They’d rather deal with the problem privately. Hint: The cancer-stricken semi-retired actress is the wife of an actor (still very much active) and the unica hija of a retired veteran actress.

SICK

Long Holiday
Residents of Metro Manila are taking advantage of the three-day weekend by going out of the city for rest and recreation. It’s also the best time for Filipinos to visit the provinces while they’re still part of the Philippines.

President, Sick?
Reports say a combination of dinuguan and bilu-bilo downed President Arroyo last week. Militant congressmen are filing a bill to officially name both dinuguan and bilu-bilo “mga pambansang pagkain ng Pilipinas.”

President Arroyo attended a barangay fiesta in Lubao, Pampanga on Saturday dismissing rumors she was struck with an illness. In fact, just to prove she was as healthy as ever, the president gamely participated in the indigenous games held at the fiesta. Wearing a hula skirt… pumayag siyang maging sipa.

CPP-MILF Alliance
Self-exiled communist leader Jose Maria Sison proposed an alliance between the CPP-NPA and the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. MILF leaders vowed to consider the proposal on one condition – that both groups would have equal number of representatives in Congress.

Plaza Miranda Bombing
August 21, 2008 marks the 31st anniversary of the Plaza Miranda bombing. The CPP-NPA will also be celebrating on that day as it marks the 31st year of denying it had a hand in the bombing.

PDEA Watch List
A Philippine Daily Inquirer report says a grandson of a former president and a male multimedia personality are on the watch list of the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency for cocaine and ecstasy abuse and dependency. When Borgy Manotoc read the article, he immediately phoned Imee Marcos and asked, “Mom, is lolo a former a president?”

PDEA Watch List II
A Philippine Daily Inquirer report says a grandson of a former president and a male multimedia personality are on the watch list of the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency for cocaine and ecstasy abuse and dependency. When Tim Yap read the article, he exclaimed, “Malinis ang konsensya ko. Hindi dating pangulo ang aking lolo. At lalo namang hindi ako ‘yong multimedia personality. Look! It’s says there o, male. Hello?!?”

FAKE

Lacson vs. Mike Arroyo
Sen. Panfilo Lacson says he is holding back from dropping another bombshell on First Gentleman Mike Arroyo because, as a Christian he is concerned about its effects on Arroyo’s health. I wonder what Lacson’s religion was when the Kuratong Baleleng rubout incident took place.

Lacson vs. Mike Arroyo
Sen. Panfilo Lacson will reportedly drop another bombshell dubbed “Jose Pidal II” on First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo. Mike Defensor will be very busy soon.

El Shaddai Anniversary
Mike Velarde’s El Shaddai Movement is celebrating its 24th anniversary this weekend. In case you wanted to know who’s running or who’s not in 2010, drop by the celebration at the Quirino Grandstand.

Beijing Olympics I
Beijing Olympic organizers admitted that portions of the Beijing Olympic ceremonies last Friday, August 8 were faked. While the opening of the Olympics was being held, Vicki Belo was joined by dozens of Belo endorsers in celebrating the clinic’s 18th anniversary at the Shangri-La Hotel. It wasn’t immediately known which of the two events featured more fakes.

Beijing Olympics II
Beijing Olympic organizers admitted that portions of the Beijing Olympic ceremonies were faked. Even the voice of the cute little girl who sang China’s patriotic song wasn’t really hers. Geographers are checking on rumors the ongoing Olympic Games are actually being held in the Spratlys.

THIS JUST IN…
Following the loss of the much-heralded Pinoy boxer Harry Tañamor to a lightly-regarded pug from Ghana, the Philippine Olympic Committee is inclined to believe reports the man who fought against the Ghanaian was not Tañamor.

Beijing Olympics III
Beijing Olympics organizers admitted faking portions of the opening ceremonies… a revelation that hardly surprised Quiapo vendors who were already selling pirated copies of the Olympics opening a day before it actually opened.

WAR AND PHELPS

The ARMM Elections and the Mindanao Conflict
Foreign observers say Monday’s automated elections at the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao was generally peaceful. The Commission on Elections said 60 percent of ARMM voters cast their votes… the other 40 percent fought government troops in North Cotabato.

North Cotabato Vice Governor Emmanuel Piñol said Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) rebels have reportedly raised their flags in some parts of his province. His enraged constituents yelled, “Pucha!” The military commander ordered, “Martsa!” President Arroyo said, “Cha-Cha!”

Quoting reports from the National Disaster Coordinating Council, outspoken North Cotabato Vice Governor Emmanuel Piñol said the fatalities in the ongoing conflict in his province included seven rebels, three soldiers and three civilians. Like the incumbent governor of North Cotabato, the victims have yet to be identified in news reports.

North Cotabato evacuees have reached 130,000… or double the number of people who actually voted in the ARMM elections.

Cotabato Rep. Darlene Antonino-Custodio said MILF rebels are offering 10 thousand pesos per head to prospective guerrilla recruits… officially breaking the record of 250 pesos per recruit held by the Asistios and the Binays at the height of Edsa Tres.

Filipinos in the Beijing Olympics
In a field of 35 at the men’s trap shooting competition, Filipino marksman Eric Ang finished dead last. In preparation for the 2012 London Olympics, Ang has volunteered to join government troops in North Cotabato and Basilan.

Finishing 11th in a field of 12, Filipina weightlifter Hidilyn Diaz smashed her own national record in the women’s 58-kilogram class… making us wonder why she even had to travel to Beijing when she could have actually achieved that feat in Gold’s Gym or Fitness First.

Filipino-American tanker James Walsh who clocked 1 minute and 59.39 seconds went down in history as the first Southeast Asian to go under the psychological two-minute barrier in the 200-meter butterfly. He also went down in history as the only Filipino Olympian who couldn’t speak Filipino.

Phenomenal Phelps
American swimming sensation Michael Phelps is aiming for eight Olympic gold medals. As of Tuesday night, he has already won three. Rumors say the Philippine Olympic Committee will commission geneticists to do a DNA test on Phelps. Baka sakaling may 1/16th dugong Pinoy. Sayang din.

(DIS)AGREEMENT

MOA on Ancestral Domain
Reports say President Arroyo is not backing out of the Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain – and is in fact proud of the agreement – mainly because it’s the only deal her government was able to seal without a round of golf.

The MOA on Ancestral Domain virtually provides for the creation of the Muslims’ own government including its independent police force. There’s no truth to rumors though that the MOA on AD was inspired by the Binays and Makati City.

Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process Hermogenes Esperon Jr. denied telling North Cotabato Vice Governor Manny Piñol that he would not defend his constituents against the MILF because Piñol rejected the MOA on Ancestral Domain. In fact, if the rebels attacked North Cotabato, Esperon has an immediate plan – he’ll raid Quiapo and Maharlika Village.

The Moro Islamic Liberation Front reportedly told Malacañang to choose between Piñol and peace. Malacañang chose Charter Change.

The MILF also threatened to withdraw from the peace process if the Court’s restraining order was not lifted. They are not launching an offensive yet though. They’ll first try to seek the help of Francis de Borja.

North Cotabato Vice Governor Manny Piñol vowed to defend his constituents against the MILF rebels. He just bought a new pair of boxing gloves.

Following an appeal from the palace, MILF rebels have moved out of several villages they forcibly occupied in North Cotabato. Malacañang has diffused the tension in the area. If it could only diffuse the tension between Esperon and Piñol…

President Arroyo is in Beijing now to attend the opening of the Summer Olympics. She will also visit areas devastated by a recent earthquake, meet with President Ju Hintao, and talk the International Olympic Committee into staging the 2032 Olympics in the Republic of Mindanao.

EXTINCT

GMA in Beijing
President Arroyo will attend the opening of the Beijing Olympics on Friday, August 8. On Thursday, she will fete Filipino athletes with a dinner at the Asia Hotel Beijing. GMA is hopeful that the country could finally win its first Olympic gold medal ever particularly in one of her favorite sports, archery… something that’s highly improbable unless of course she volunteers herself as the target.

Air Quality
DENR’s Environment Management Bureau (EMB) reported that air quality in the country has improved by 33 percent. The EMB attributed this to Malacañang and its allies in Congress “dahil sa husay nilang magtago ng baho ng gobyerno.”

Endangered Species
A new research has revealed that monkeys are getting extinct. Apparently, the researchers haven’t been to Philippine Congress.

Endangered Species II
A new study has revealed that monkeys, orangutans, gorillas, and other primates are getting extinct. Ultra-conservative members of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines have expressed concern over the result of the study, and called on all apes in the country to junk the Reproductive Health Bill.

ABS-CBN News Site
In case you didn’t notice (I did!) the ABS-CBN News Web site was shut down over the weekend following the Lopez network’s failure to renew the registration and pay the corresponding domain fees after it expired last July 26. I just don’t get it. They couldn’t pay the domain fee of no more than 3,000 pesos and yet, Justice Sabio has been offered 10 million?

SIGNS

Top 5 Signs that A Member of the Court of Appeals Has Been Bribed (And Has Accepted It)

5: When he sees the 26 suitcase-bearing girls on Deal or No Deal, he refers to them as the 26-M.

4: He signs up as a member of the “Judy Ann Santos. I Believe.” fan club.

3: When you ask about his motto in life, he replies, “In the service of the Filipino people.”

2: He stops addressing fellow justices as “Compañero” and starts calling them “Kapamilya.”

And the No. 1 sign that a member of the Court of Appeals has been bribed (and has accepted it)…

1: His favorite pick up line goes, “Say yes to me and I promise, sa piling ko… may liwanag ang buhay.”

B IS FOR BRIBERY

Court of Appeals Bribery
The Lopezes are being accused of bribing Court of Appeals Associate Justice Jose L. Sabio Jr. for a favorable ruling on the Meralco-GSIS row. Let’s see if Judy Ann Santos could explain this one.

Court of Appeals Bribery II
Meralco Chairman and CEO Manolo Lopez said Court of Appeals Associate Justice Jose Sabio Jr. must not worry about his safety after exposing an alleged bribery by the Lopezes. He added, “I want to assure Justice Sabio that the Lopez family has never been involved in any form of violence whatsoever.” I believe him. The Lopezes would never order the assassination of Sabio. Character assassination by DZMM commentators is another issue though.

Court of Appeals Bribery III
The Lopezes’ “emissary” reportedly offered a bribe of 10 million to Associate Justice Jose Sabio Jr… to which the Isnajis of Sulu reacted, “Samantalang kami, five million lang ‘di pa mapagbigyan.”

Pulse Asia Survey
The latest Pulse Asia survey showed that if presidential elections were held today, Vice President Noli De Castro who obtained a rating of 22 percent would win followed by deposed president Joseph Estrada with 16 percent. Sen. Loren Legarda was strong in third with 14 percent – but is expected to zoom to first place if there would be another kidnapping rescue in Mindanao.

Pulse Asia Survey II
The latest Pulse Asia survey showed that if presidential elections were held today, Vice President Noli De Castro would win. The good news is, we’re not having the elections today.

Pulse Asia Survey III
The latest Pulse Asia survey showed that if presidential and vice presidential elections were held today, the tandem of Loren Legarda and Chiz Escudero would win, followed by the Villar-De Castro, and the Roxas-Pangilinan tandems. However, about 1 in 5 Filipino adults do not prefer any of the tandems… and opted to go for the Marian-Dingdong team-up.

Pulse Asia Survey IV
According to Pulse Asia, if presidential elections were held today Senate President Manuel Villar would get 12 percent; Sen. Mar Roxas, eight percent; Sen. Panfilo Lacson, five percent; Makati Mayor Jejomar Binay, two percent; MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando, one percent and Interior Secretary Ronaldo Puno, 0.2 percent. If you combined their ratings though, Dyesebel would still beat them by a mile.

University Survey
Only the University of the Philippines and Ateneo de Manila University made it to the list of world’s top 500 universities based on the 2007 survey conducted by the Times Higher Education Supplement Quackquarelli Symonds. UP was ranked 398th while Ateneo took 451st place. De La Salle University, which dropped to 519th, is dismayed by the results and seriously considers filing a protest… at the UAAP board.

University Survey II
Only the University of the Philippines and Ateneo de Manila University made it to the list of world’s top 500 universities based on the 2007 survey conducted by the Times Higher Education Supplement Quackquarelli Symonds. UP was ranked 398th while Ateneo took 451st place. University of Sto. Tomas which dropped out of the elite 500 and is now at 535th vowed to make a comeback… by dethroning UP in the upcoming UAAP cheerdance competition.

Abu Sayyaf Strike Again
Reports say the Abu Sayyaf Group has abducted two traders of cosmetic products in Sulu. Reacting to the report, Ces Drilon said, “Sana isinabay na lang sa ‘min no’n.”