PULSE ASIA SAYS…

Losers
The latest Pulse Asia survey showed that 58% of Filipinos in Metro Manila consider themselves as “losers”… but are nonetheless hopeful that President Arroyo will also appoint them to government posts.

Low Quality of Life
According to Pulse Asia, 75% of Filipinos say their quality of life has deteriorated in the past 12 months. Malacañang is hoping to reverse the trend starting with the Filipinos’… text life.

Worse Off Today
The latest Pulse Asia survey revealed that most Filipinos are worse off now relative to last year. In figures, that’s 72 percent in Metro Manila, 80 percent in the rest of Luzon, 92 percent in the Visayas and 94 percent in Mindanao. A record-high 100% could have been obtained if Pulse Asia moved farther South and surveyed Pinoys in Sabah.

Forgotten Heroes
Sen. Manuel Villar lashed out at President Arroyo for not thanking the overseas Filipino workers in her State of the Nation Address. Villar is so worried because he might have a hard time convincing them to appear again in his series of infomercials.

SONA 2008

SONA: Cheers, Jeers, and then Some
President Arroyo delivered her State of the Nation Address on July 28, 2008 – her eight SONA in eight years as president of the Republic of the Philippines. If she stays good, she’ll have one left. If she opts to be bad, she’ll have more than that.

Leftist groups lambasted President Arroyo’s SONA saying it was no different from her previous SONAs. The president downplayed the leftists’ reaction saying it was no different from their previous SONA reactions.

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago gave President Arroyo’s Sona a grade of 1.5. Former president Joseph Estrada gave her 30 out of a perfect score of 100. Environment secretary Lito Atienza gave her 8 out of 10. Benjamin Abalos, Romulo Neri and the ZTE execs gave her a 13 under par/59 on a par 72.

Fernando Poe Jr.’s daughter Mary Grace Poe-Llamanzares who joined the militants’ anti-Sona rally told the crowd, “If FPJ had not been cheated, our Sona wouldn’t be like this.” That’s morbid. I can’t imagine a Sona being delivered… posthumously.

Sen. Jamby Madrigal described President Arroyo’s support for VAT as reckless and called on Congress to repeal the law saying it’s anti-poor… which should be the least of her problems considering the enormity of her wealth.

Fifty Cents Per Text
President Arroyo’s announcement that telecommunication firms have agreed to cut the cost of text messages between networks from one peso to 50 centavos received the loudest cheers from the people at the House of Representatives. Here’s the catch though: before you could avail yourself of that promo, you must first download an MMS photo of the president.

President Arroyo announced that telecom firms have heeded her request to cut the cost of text messaging between networks by half, from one peso to 50 centavos. Smart to Globe or Globe to Sun, singkuwenta. Smart to Smart or Globe to Globe, piso. Weird.

Well-Applauded
Reports say the president’s SONA was applauded 104 times. That figure could have been higher if the person assigned to press the “Canned Applause” button didn’t fall asleep while listening to her speech.

President Arroyo’s 2008 Sona was applauded 104 times or one more than 2007’s 103. Thanks to that brave mayor in “bahag.”

Chieftain Steals Show
Rosario Camma, the mayor of Nagtipunan, Quirino who is also the chieftain of the Bugkalots, an indigenous group, attended the Sona wearing only a G-string or “bahag.” He later claimed he thought Malacañang was inviting him to a sauna, not Sona.

Bugkalot chieftain and Nagtipunan, Quirino Mayor Rosario Camma who attended the Sona wearing only a G-string or “bahag” stole the show. Credit that to Malacañang who stole his clothes.

Bugkalot chieftain and Nagtipunan, Quirino Mayor Rosario Camma attended the Sona wearing only a G-string or “bahag.” He was later cited in the president’s Sona for the food sufficiency in his town. The moral of the president’s story? To achieve good harvest, wear a G-string while farming.

The mayor of Nagtipunan, Quirino attended the Sona wearing only a G-string or “bahag.” He later admitted it was difficult because he had to avoid staring at beautiful and sexy women in the gallery.

This early, Mayo Camma is being invited to attend next year’s Sona. But instead of a G-string, he must come in a suit. GMA will then cite him as an example of a tribesman who’s “ramdam na ramdam ang kaunlaran.”

This Just In: Annabelle Rama has threatened to pull out his son Richard Gutierrez as endorser of Bench after last week’s Bench denim and underwear show where his son was outshone by fellow Kapuso star Dingdong Dantes. She accused Bench of favoritism. Ben Chan was unfazed by the threat. He monitored the Sona yesterday and discovered a more daring replacement. Mabuhay, Chief!

A Glitzy Affair
President Arroyo’s Sona turned into an Oscar-like affair as government officials, lawmakers, their wives, and other celebrities showcased their gowns in the red carpet. GMA’s gown was by JC Buendia, Sen. Loren Legarda’s dress was by Paul Cabral, Audrey Tan-Zubiri’s attire was by Rajo Laurel, and Assunta Da Rossi-Ledesma’s terno was by her husband Jules.

Sen. Loren Legarda wore a backless Filipiniana dress at yesterday’s Sona. Senator Edgarda Angara wished he were single.

Sen. Loren Legarda’s backless gown exposed her flawless skin. Partida pa ‘yan! Kulang pa ng glutathione ang Lucida huh!

Sen. Jamby Madrigal looked elegant in her own terno. But everybody agreed, she would have looked better in a Barong Tagalog.

FORTY MINUTES

GMA’s Sona
Malacañang says President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address will be 40-minute long. That’s really long considering that it usually takes only 3 to 5 minutes to read a fairy tale.

GMA’s Sona II
Malacañang says President Arroyo’s SONA will be 40-minute long.  Yeah, she will talk nonstop for 40 long minutes. The only time she talked longer than that nonstop was when she had a quarrel with her husband.

GMA’s Sona III
Malacañang says President Arroyo’s SONA will be 40-minute long. Yeah, she’ll deliver her speech in less than an hour – after she spends the entire morning checking on her gown, fixing her hair, and doing her make-up.

JDV and GMA’s Sona
Ousted House Speaker Jose De Venecia believes that President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address will be 50% exaggerated. Of course, had there been no falling out between them, the SONA would likely be 70% exaggerated.

Ibon Survey
A survey conducted by militant think-tank Ibon Foundation showed that 8 of 10 Filipinos in Metro Manila believed that President Arroyo would not deliver on her SONA promises. A separate survey conducted on the “Ibon survey” revealed that 8 of 10 survey respondents were members of Bayan Muna, Gabriela, and Anakpawis.

Militant Youth Group’s Call
A militant youth group urges all Filipinos to shut off television, radios, and electronic devices that will broadcast President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address. Shut off? Shut up! (OA na kayo huh!)

UP NEXT: Heckling the State of the Nation Address

STATE OF THE NATION, A DRESS

GMA’s Sona Attire
Malacañang says President Arroyo will wear an eco-friendly gown when she delivers the State of the Nation Address on Monday. Created by fashion designer JC Buendia, the dress will be a blend of silk and pineapple fibers. Buendia has denied allegations that the gown has been found to contain traces of endosulfan.

GMA’s Sona Attire II
President Arroyo will wear a pink gown when she delivers her 8th State of the Nation Address on Monday. Malacañang dismissed rumors that MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando had a hand in choosing her gown.

GMA’s Sona Attire III
The president will wear a pink gown when she delivers her SONA on Monday. She has been strongly advised not to walk anywhere near Edsa lest male passersby mistake her for MMDA’s pink urinal.

GMA’s Sona Attire IV
President Arroyo will wear an eco-friendly gown when she delivers her State of the Nation Address on Monday in accordance with her campaign to protect the environment. And to show her concern for the recently reported endangerment and extinction of half of the country’s fauna, she has assured the attendance of the First Gentleman, Dato, Mikey, and Luli Arroyo.

GMA’s Sona Attire V
President Arroyo will wear an eco-friendly gown when she delivers her State of the Nation Address on Monday. With a negative 38 approval rating from a skeptical citizenry, the only friendship she has left is with nature and she’s trying to preserve it.

JDV’s Wife and GMA’s Sona
After seven years of attending and applauding President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address, Gina De Venecia, wife of former House speaker Jose de Venecia Jr. will snub the event and join militant groups in the anti-GMA rally on Monday. The situation could be tense but both Mrs. De Venecia’s camp and the leftist groups’ camp have vowed to exercise maximum tolerance… on “kaplastikan.”

JDV’s Wife and GMA’s Sona II
Mrs. Gina De Venecia says she will not attend President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address… mainly because she couldn’t accept the fact that her husband JDV will surely get less TV exposure this time.

JDV’s Wife and GMA’s Sona III
Mrs. Gina De Venecia, wife of ousted House Speaker Jose De Venecia, announced that she would not attend President Arroyo’s State of the Nation Address on Monday. May nagtanong ba?

Pro-Life Rally
Some 12,000 pro-life supporters led by 15 bishops staged a prayer rally in Manila to affirm their commitment to a Vatican decree against artificial birth control. A surprise guest speaker, Manny Pacguiao told the crowd, “Let’s follow God’s teachings… to go forth and multiply.” And then added, “’Wag na Friendster.”

Comelec Rules vs. Miriam
Dismissing a petition filed by Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago, the Commission on Elections has ruled that politicians who appear in advertisements, including billboards, and have expressed their intention to run for the 2010 elections are not committing any offence. Unless of course you’re Loren Legarda who has chosen to endorse a fake drug.

NPA in NCR?
The Communist Party of the Philippines denied that it has deployed NPA rebels in Metro Manila to blow up establishments and assassinate key government officials including the president… which is possibly true because the strength of the NPA rebels has considerably waned, the only enemy they can actually kill are the lowly security guards in Globe cell sites that they love to blow up.

“Katas ng VAT”
President Arroyo launched “Katas ng VAT: Tulong Para Kay Lolo at Lola” in Pasig City yesterday. Some 1,000 elderly poor were the first recipients of the P500 cash gift. The lolos and the lolas couldn’t hide their excitement. They can finally change their week-old diapers.

ENDANGERED SPECIES

Hungry Filipinos
The latest Social Weather Stations survey showed that 16.3 percent of Filipinos experienced hunger at least once in the past three months. The figure could have been higher if the SWS surveyed those women enrolled at Slimmer’s World, Gold’s Gym, and Fitness First.

ARMM Polls
President Arroyo is supporting a proposal to postpone the August 11 elections in the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao. Four ARMM lawmakers have also filed a bill to reset the polls. The postponement is seen to “open the highway” for peace, allow negotiations between the government and the MILF, and give some ARMM candidates another chance to abduct and raise additional campaign funds.

Box-Office Behemoth
Raking in more than $155 million in its opening weekend, The Dark Knight shattered box office records in North America. Inspired by the success of the Heath Ledger–starrer, local producers are coming up with their own superhero movies casting the likes of Royet Padilla, John Regala, Mark Anthony Fernandez, Bernard Palanca and the members of the Gucci Gang as villains.

Solon vs. Sulpicio Exec
Reports say Cavite Rep. Elpidio Barzaga Jr. has called for the arrest of Sulpicio Lines vice president Edgar Go over the shipping firm’s lack of commitment to refloat MV Princess of the Stars. When Go heard the news, he instructed his lawyer to prepare attempted kidnapping charges against the congressman.

Animals Gone Missing
The Department of Environment and Natural Resources says half of the country’s fauna has become endangered or extinct… with the exception perhaps of the government’s crocodile population, which continues to grow each day.

FAMOUS, INFAMOUS

Unpopular

According to the Social Weather Stations, only 22% of Filipinos were satisfied with President Arroyo’s performance. The news did not come as a surprise to First Gentleman Mike Arroyo mainly because her performance has not satisfied him for years either.

Unpopular II

Only 1 out of 5 Filipinos are satisfied with President Arroyo’s performance… meaning, when she’s at the dinner table with the First Gentleman, Luli, Dato, and Mikey, she’s the only one satisfied with her performance.

Unpopular III

Dismissing President Arroyo’s historic-low approval rating, her allies stressed that the presidency is not about popularity, and cited her determination to fight poverty, corruption, and organizations like the Abu Sayyaf, the New People’s Army, and more recently, SWS and Pulse Asia.

GMA’s SONA

July 28, 2008 is a special day for both the administration and the opposition. President Arroyo will deliver her 8th State of the Nation Address on that day while the opposition is celebrating the 8th anniversary of its failure to unseat her.

Top 5 Rumors About President Arroyo’s Sona that Were Dismissed by Malacañang As Untrue

5: Her speechwriter refuses to review the draft speech because every time she does, she would always throw up.

4: People at the gallery who shall applaud her speech will get instant gas coupons per applause.

3: To show her empathy for the masses who are most affected by the skyrocketing cost of petroleum products, she’ll go to Batasan Complex on foot.

2: In 2001, she invited three Payatas children ak.a. “Bangkang Papel” boys to highlight her government’s campaign against poverty. This year, to underscore the government’s fight against terrorism, she has invited Jimmy Encarnacion, Angelo Valderrama, and Ces Drilon (minus the makeup).

And the No. 1 rumor about President Arroyo’s Sona that was dismissed by Malacañang as untrue…

1: Judy Ann Santos will deliver a speech right after the president’s Sona to explain the state of the nation further.

The Lucida-DS Case

United Shelter Health Products, the local distributor of the controversial Lucida-DS whitening drug refused to withdraw its products from the market and insisted that the Bureau of Food and Drugs’ claim that Lucida-DS contained insufficient glutathione was a mistake. Coincidentally, United Shelter has withdrawn its deal with Sen. Loren Legarda and insisted that the decision to get her as endorser was a mistake too.

Terrorists All?

Headline from Mindanao: Catholics in the South getting threats from suspected Abu Sayyaf
Headline in Manila: Pro-choice politicians getting threats from Catholic priests

Personal

Brian Gorrell, the controversial Australian-Canadian blogger and florist who exposed the debauchery and nefariousness of the so-called Gucci Gang has cited this blog in his recent blog post. His flattering compliment and endorsement have helped this site (The Professional Heckler) establish its own weekend readership record of sorts for the month of July. Thank you Brian. And keep on fighting.

LOWTATHIONE

Anwar and GMA

Former Malaysian Deputy Premier Anwar Ibrahim was arrested for sodomizing a former aide. GMA is far more fortunate. She keeps screwing millions Filipinos and no one has filed a suit.

The Population Debate

President Arroyo is reportedly taking the side of the bishops on the raging issue of population management. So don’t be surprised if a reporter attempts again to ask GMA about her sex life, and she replies with, “Plenty.” She’s just being Catholic.

Loren and Lucida

Sen. Loren Legarda ordered the dismantling of her Lucida-DS billboards after the Bureau of Food and Drugs recalled the whitening product from the market because its glutathione content was insufficient. Loren also asked the manufacturer of Lucida to explain why it mislabeled the product, why it deceived the public, and why was her talent fee as endorser much lower than Gabby Concepcion’s.

Loren and Lucida II

Following BFAD’s recall order on the controversial whitening product Lucida-DS, Sen. Loren Legarda ordered the dismantling of Lucida-DS billboards showing her as endorser. Loren reportedly believed BFAD’s findings that Lucida-DS contained insufficient amount of glutathione when she noticed no significant change in her dark armpits despite repeated intake of the product.

The Isnajis and the ARMM Elections

The Philippine National Police barred detained Indanan, Sulu Mayor Alvarez Isnaji and his son, Haider, from campaigning outside their detention cell for the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao elections in August. Sought for a reaction, Mayor Isnaji said, “That’s unfair. Kung kelan may campaign funds kami saka naman pinagbawalang mangampanya!”

Pacquiao’s Two Belts

The World Boxing Council has ordered Manny Pacquiao to give up one of his two championship belts because no boxer is allowed to own two belts in two separate weight divisions. Although saddened by the order, Pacquiao chose the lightweight over the featherweight belt. That’s the second most difficult choice Pacquiao has made in recent months next only to his decision to dump Ara Mina in favor of his wife Jinkee.

The Fight Club

Embassy Super Club, the notorious bar at Bonifacio Global City co-owned by the equally, if not more infamous party-animal Tim Yap was allowed to re-open three weeks after it was ordered closed by Taguig City following the mauling and death of a customer. Nope, there’s no truth to rumors that the owners have decided to rename the bar and call it Ecstasy Super Club.

The Fight Club II

The City of Taguig allowed Embassy Super Club to re-operate on condition that customers who are known to be drug dealers and users would be barred from the establishment. Borgy Manotoc allegedly described the restriction as “totally unfair.”

Wow Mali!

The Manila Standard Today’s story that came out Friday, July 18 titled,  “Campus gang rape ruled out,” written by reporter Florante S. Solmerin, started with this line:

“A FACT-FINDING COMMITTEE formed by the Philippine University of the Philippines debunked the claim of a 16-year-old coed of having been raped by several male students inside one of the classrooms.”

MISSED UNIVERSE 2008

Postscript to a Pageant

The Venezuelan lass who won the Miss Universe title was once a kidnap victim in her hometown. Twenty-two-year-old Daiana Mendoza said she capitalized on her traumatic experience to withstand the pressure of the pageant. Jennifer Barrientos, the Philippine candidate who did not even make the semifinals said – given another chance, she’ll get training from Ces Drilon instead.

Jennifer Barrientos,  the Philippine candidate who vowed to bring home the Miss Universe crown failed to even reach the semifinals. She is now barred from going anywhere near the owner of the crown, Miss Venezuela.

Top 5 Ways to Complete the Phrase: “If GMA Were A Miss Universe Candidate…”

5: … she’ll do what ish right, do what ish best, and hopefully, God will take care of the ressht.

4: … she’ll play golf with the judges on the eve of the pageant.

3: … she’ll call a corrupt pageant judge and ask, “Would you help me lead by one million?”

2: … she’ll win the title but the attempt to cheat will be exposed, and she’ll then say sorry. However, she would never give up the crown.

And the No. 1 way to complete the phrase: “If GMA Were A Miss Universe Candidate…”

1: … she’ll refuse to turn over the crown to a successor, and extends her reign for another term saying she’s still the most beautiful and the most capable woman to fulfill the duties of a Miss Universe titlist.

In Other News…

Pastoral Letter

Ozamiz Archbishop Jesus Dosado issued a pastoral letter saying that Catholic politicians who advocate population control must not be given Communion. Former senator Ramon Revilla Sr. immediately released a statement supporting Dosado’s pastoral letter.

Pastoral Letter 2

Sen. Panfilo Lacson described Archbishop Jesus Dosado’s pastoral letter as “downright stupid.” Asked what he would do if he’s given a copy of the pastoral letter, Lacson replied, “Of course, I’ll shoot the letter, place it inside a drum, and pour wet cement on it.”

THE RUNNING MAN

CBCP on Condom Use

Reports say the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines now allows the use of condom by married couples. I don’t know with you but I don’t see any reason why we should allow a group of celibate, sex-deprived men to meddle with other people’s sex life.

James Yap Fined

James Yap was fined by the PBA Board for his involvement in a scuffle during the heated match between Purefoods and Talk ‘N Txt last week. As seen on television, Yap crept behind Phone Pals import Terrence Leather and then gave him a kick. When the American turned around, Mrs. Kris Aquino started running as Leather chased him. Yup, he ran! And that’s just Leather. Imagine what it would have been like if it was Kris.

An oblivious Terrence Leather was kicked by James Yap from behind during a PBA scuffle last week. Yap then ran like a scared puppy when an incensed Leather started chasing him. Asked why he did it on Leather, James replied, “Para ma-experience lang. Sa bahay kasi, ako lagi ang sinisipa.”

Creeping behind Talk ‘n Txt import Terrence Leather, Purefoods star James Yap kicked him then started running around the court when the American import went after him. Yap has since apologized for doing the kick which he claimed he learned from his wife.

Talking to GMA News, Kris Aquino defended his husband James Yap from his detractors saying, “Feehling ko, pinag-iinitan nilang mashyado shi Jamesssh.” Tama ka Kris, feeling ka!

ABS-CBN Documentary

ABS-CBN is airing the controversial documentary on the kidnapping of its reporter Ces Drilon and her crew despite a request from the Department of Justice to postpone it. ABS-CBN’s decision was understandable. The network shelled out millions of pesos for her release; it’s time to recoup the expense.

JDV: I’m Talking

Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia said he would testify at the Senate hearing on the NBN-ZTE deal when he is given a clean bill of health by his doctors – or until such time that he runs of out alibis.

JUNKED!

Sulpicio’s Petition Denied

The Manila Regional Trial Court (RTC) has junked Sulpicio Lines’ petition for a temporary restraining order against the Board of Marine Inquiry’s probe into the June 21 sinking of the MV Princess of the Stars. But Sulpicio Lines is unperturbed. In fact, it will sue the Manila RTC next.

Senate Attendance

Sen. Jamby Madrigal was dubbed the “most tardy senator” during the first regular session of the 14th Congress after she was marked late for 24 days. That’s understandable though because the mere thought of losing her millionaire aunt’s vast fortune has been giving her sleepless nights.

Jamby’s Rich Aunt

Sen. Jamby Madrigal counted at least 18 local corporations owned by her late aunt, Consuelo “Chito” Madrigal. But she’s not done counting yet, she needs to prepare for work… late na siya.

De La Paz Quits SSS

Refusing to blame politics (political observers think otherwise), Corazon De La Paz quit her post as president of the Social Security System citing health reasons. But look at her picture. I think she needs a more plausible excuse.

Bishops vs. “The Lord”

Sixty-nine of the 80 bishops who attended the plenary assembly of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines last weekend signed a document expressing support for the plunder case filed by Pampanga governor Fr. Ed Panlilio against suspected “jueteng lord” Rodolfo “Bong” Pineda. The 11 bishops who didn’t sign requested for an extension to decide – or until such time that the construction of their churches is completed.

SLOGANS FOR SULPICIO LINES

VS.

Sulpicio Lines filed Tuesday a civil case against Del Monte Philippines for its alleged failure to declare as toxic the chemical endosulfan that was loaded into the ill-fated MV Princess of the Stars. With separate cases against the Board of Marine Inquiry and PAGASA, Sulpicio Lines has now filed three different suits in less than a month. Sulpicio Lines owners refused to confirm rumors they’re shutting down their shipping business to start a law firm instead.

Fare Hike

The National Economic and Development Authority has approved the LTFRB’s recommendation to increase fare rates for jeepneys, taxis, and buses. Fare rate hike is the “in” thing these days – except perhaps in Sulpicio Lines’ ticket offices.

Top 5 Suggested Slogans Rejected by Sulpicio Lines

5: Sulpicio Lines: Where the most prayerful passengers ride

4: Ride One, Ride All: Shake, Rattle, and Roll

3: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step: “Abandon ship!”

2: We’ve got SOUL, we’ve got PEACE, we’ve got YOU – Sulpicio!

And the No. 1 suggested slogan rejected by Sulpicio Lines…

1: Sakay na sa Sulpicio Lines: From Sibuyan to Babuyan and anywhere the wind blows, it doesn’t really matter!

Arenas in RP

NBA superstar Gilbert Arenas who was recently in Manila for an Adidas promo tour was reportedly in awe of the UAAP cage wars especially after watching the Ateneo-La Salle game last Sunday. Arenas was in awe because players from both schools were “multiracial.”

JDV is Back

Fresh from his European and South American trips, Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia declared that he is now prepared to testify before the Senate on the ZTE-NBN deal controversy. Wait, sino nga ulit siya?

Seafoods Are Safe in Albay

Albay Governor Joey Salceda led some local officials in eating seafood to disprove rumors that marine life in Albay is contaminated following the onslaught of typhoon “Frank.” Albay folks remain skeptical though because, when they look at their governor, it’s really difficult to say whether he has consumed something contaminated or not.

TRAGIC

The Sulpicio Probe

The Board of Marine Inquiry (BMI) investigating the June 21 sinking of the MV Princess of the Stars is appealing to President Arroyo to give it another week to complete its probe. Mrs. Arroyo is reportedly keen on granting the request because she can empathize with the BMI. For years, she has been appealing to the public to give her another chance to complete her term.

Even before the Board of Marine Inquiry could finish its probe, congressmen entered the picture and started their own investigation into the sinking of MV Princess of the Stars. Now that’s tragic.

Cebu Representative Antonio Cuenco defended the House inquiry, citing the “urgency” of the matter. Oh yeah, thanks for reminding us. It’s almost 2010.

Sulpicio vs. the Government

Sulpicio Lines has sued the Board of Marine Inquiry accusing it of causing the negative publicity against the shipping company, resulting to a tarnished reputation, damaged business standing and the object of public contempt and ridicule. Sulpicio Lines’ owners are becoming more despicable each day, they start to make Meralco execs look like angels.

Sulpicio Lines says the Board of Marine Inquiry has caused and added to the negative publicity against the shipping company, resulting to a tarnished reputation, damaged business standing and the object of public contempt and ridicule. To cushion the impact of the bad publicity, Sulpicio Lines is seeking the help of Meralco’s PR specialists.

Sulpicio vs. PAGASA

Sulpicio Lines has filed a 4 million-peso civil suit against PAGASA for wrongful weather forecast. Asked to comment on the civil suit, PAGASA Director Prisco Nilo said, “We didn’t see it coming. It was hard to predict.”

Losers in Government

GMA’s election lawyer, Romulo Macalintal said there’s nothing wrong with appointing election losers to executive posts. I agree. If you could have a defeated candidate as chief executive, why not poll losers in lower government offices?

Pastors and Porn?

Manila Representative Bienvenido Abante and 11 other pastors of the Baptist organization Bible Mode sued the publishers of popular men’s magazines FHM (Summit Media) and Maxim (ABS-CBN Publishing) for supposed pornographic content. The pastors say the magazines “have no educational (or) artistic value, (and are) intended to draw lust and arouse prurient interest.” Apparently, the pastors have been reading those magazines. Otherwise, how in hell would they know so much about the content?

CESPENDED

Ces Drilon Suspended

ABS-CBN suspended reporter/news anchor Ces Drilon for three months for disobeying orders that resulted in her kidnapping and that of her camera crew in Sulu last month. Drilon apologized to her superiors but nonetheless thanked them for giving her the chance to spend more time with her dermatologist, at her favorite spa, and of course, in Rustan’s.

Reacting to her three-month suspension, Ces Drilon apologized to ABS-CBN for causing anxiety to the network and for putting the lives of her crew in danger. It’s not clear though if she’s apologizing too to the people of Indanan, Sulu for putting their mayor in jail.

Pacquiao Is Back

During Manny Pacquiao’s courtesy call to President Arroyo in Malacañang last week, the president made jabs to mimic Pacquiao’s lethal punches – giving us a glimpse of what she exactly does when Mike Arroyo pisses her off.

An Inquirer report noticed the absence of large crowds at Manny Pacquiao’s motorcade in Manila last Friday. Apparently, Manileños were not informed that Lito Atienza’s family and Chavit Singson wouldn’t be riding Manny’s float this time.

If he had his way, Army reservist and boxing champion Manny Pacquiao said he would fight alongside government troops. Asked how he intends to defeat the rebels, Pacquaio replied, “Iimaginin ku na lang na Mixicans sila!”

Reports say Manny Pacquiao is donating 3million pesos to the victims of typhoon “Frank.” But that figure could still go up… depending on his luck at the baccarat table this coming week.

Bishop vs. Boxing

In his Manila Standard Today column on July 5, anti-Arroyo bishop Teodoro Bacañi Jr. confesses that he doesn’t watch boxing and won’t be heaping praises on Manny Pacquiao’s recent victory because boxing is immoral. Between boxing and sexually harassing a secretary, I’m sure Bishop Bacani knows which one is more immoral.

Miss Universe 2008

The country’s bet to the 2008 Miss Universe pageant in Vietnam, Jennifer Barrientos said that she’s sure of “bringing home the crown.” She didn’t specify though if it’s a Pepsi or a Coca-cola crown.

The Miss Universe organization scrapped the text and online voting for the Miss Photogenic contest… totally shaterring the Filipinos’ hope of winning at least a minor title in this year’s pageant.

SULPICIO LINES PRESENTS…

Top 15 Favorite Movies of Sulpicio Lines

15: Dude, Where’s My Body?

14: Dances With Waves

13: Something’s Gotta Grieve

12: There’s Something About Sulpi

11: 20,000 Deaths Under the Sea

10: Hellboat

9: Harry Porter and the Cargo of Endosulfan

8: How To Lose A Guy Relative In Two Days

7: Look Who’s Sinking

6: Sapul, Sulpicio, Saklolo

5: Fantastic For-malin

4: You’ve Got Whale!

3: What Happens in Burias

2: Bukas Lulubog ang mga Tao

And the No. 1 favorite movie of Sulpicio Lines…

1: Four Sinking and A Thousand Funerals