STUCK HOLDERS

Reports say Tuesday’s Meralco stockholders’ meeting was the longest in Philippine history. It lasted 14 hours – eight hours counting the votes and six hours heckling Winston Garcia.

Reports say Tuesday’s 14-hour Meralco stockholders’ meeting was the longest in Philippine history. But that’s nothing compared to the period of time Meralco has been screwing its customers.

Meralco board member and former Comelec chair Christian Monsod said the canvassing of the votes for the new set of Meralco board members rivaled that conducted by the Commission on Elections. Actually, he meant “better.” In Comelec, Monsod counted the votes and was paid thousands. In Meralco, Monsod won the votes and got millions.

Tuesday’s Meralco stockholders’ meeting lasted 14 hours… consuming an additional 50 kilowatts of electricity, the cost of which will be shouldered by Meralco customers.

Considered by many as the longest in Philippine history, Tuesday’s Meralco stockholders’ meeting lasted 14 hours. The counting of votes alone took eight hours – unless you were listening to DZMM where a quick count was over even before the voting started.

News: Meralco battle (almost) over
Bad News: Newspapers expect drop in advertising revenues

Tuesday, May 27
10:30PM: Meralco stockholders’ meeting over
10:35PM: Lopezes keep control of Meralco
11:30PM: ABS-CBN, DZMM, and ANC reporters and commentators to get bonuses

QUESTIONS FOR JDV

Top 10 Pointless Questions to Ask Jose De Venecia Jr. When He Testifies Before the Senate

10: If you were a Star Wars character, who would you be and why?

9: Please complete the sentence: “A man with big ears has a long…”

8: Does it bother you when, walking with your wife Gina, you hear people say, “Ang sweet naman ng mag-ama!”

7: What do these people have in common aside from their name: Jose Marcelo Ejercito, Jose De Venecia, Jose Miguel Arroyo?

6: Where were you when Joey De Venecia III was smoking marijuana?

5: What advice can you give a man with a wife who refuses to shut up because of bitterness?

4: What is the origin of the idiom “sour grapes?”

3: Considering your vast knowledge on the subject, can you please define “corruption” in five words or less?

2: You are considered to be the father of the “pork barrel.” Your daughter died in a fire in 2004. Your son lost out the bidding to ZTE for the NBN project in 2007. You were ousted as House Speaker in 2008. And the ghost of the 500-million dollar NorthRail project continues to hound you up to this day. Mr. Congressman, do you believe in karma?

And the no. 1 pointless question to ask Cong. Jose De Venecia Jr. when he testifies before the Senate…

1: When will you fix the roof of your house?

THIEVERY CORPORATION

De Venecia on the ZTE Deal

Ousted House Speaker Jose De Venecia says if he were to testify now on the ZTE NBN deal, his revelations may cause the fall of the Arroyo government. That’s the kind of fall the militants wanted to see, not Ka Bel’s.

Cong. Jose De Venecia vows to testify on the ZTE NBN deal at the right time “before the proper forum.” Well, if he keeps waiting for a forum that’s not improper, his testimony could take time.

Former Speaker Jose De Venecia will testify on the ZTE NBN deal “at the right time.” For now, he needs to complete his testimony before another forum – Gina De Venecia.

Sen. Aquilino Pimentel acknowledged that De Venecia’s Senate appearance could “backfire” on him since he was also involved in the controversial $500-million NorthRail project. We therefore appeal to you Mr. former Speaker, please… testify now!

Meralco Stockholders’ Meeting

While consumers have yet to get the refund for the padded electric charges amounting to billions of pesos, Manila Electric Company’s wealthy executives will convene for Tuesday’s Meralco stockholders meeting – the second biggest gathering of thieves in recent years next only to the House of Representatives.

Cabbies Arrested

Seven taxicab drivers were arrested in Makati City for overcharging their passengers. Police are verifying reports the drivers were former Meralco employees.

Swaziland King in Manila

President Arroyo was thankful for the state visit of King Mswati III of the impoverished African nation of Swaziland. When she’s with him, she feels like a leader of a first world country.

King Mswati III of Swaziland arrived last night for a state visit. When Erap heard the news, he expressed interest to meet Mswati saying he wants to open an account – in Berne.

GAS PAIN

High Gasoline Prices

Gas prices are getting so high… Erap’s children by different women would be carpooling to school together.

Gas prices are getting so high… Pia Cayetano is jogging to work.

Gas prices are getting so high… Meralco is blaming Napocor.

Gas prices are getting so high… Napocor is planning to buy Petron.

Gas prices are getting so high… and President Arroyo believes the solution is total annihilation of Communists in 2010.

Gas prices are getting so high… congressmen are contributing again to shoulder the funeral car’s gas for Crispin Beltran’s interment.

Gas prices are getting so high… Crispin Beltran is finally asking God to junk the oil deregulation law.

KMU on Ka Bel’s Death

The leftist Kilusang Mayo Uno is blaming the Arroyo government for labor leader Crispin Beltran’s frail health resulting in his eventual death. You think that’s absurd? Wait ‘til Liza Maza blames this government for her toilet that wouldn’t flush.

Ka Bel’s Replacement

Militant group Anak Pawis has named Rafael Mariano as a replacement for party-list representative Crispin Beltran – instantly crushing the Budget Department’s hopes of saving millions of pesos in pork barrel allocation.

Glorietta 2 Explosion Case

The Department of Justice absolved engineers and employees of Ayala Properties Management in connection with the Glorietta 2 explosion last year. These days, Malacañang’s got its hands full with the Lopezes, it cannot afford to wage another war with the Ayalas.

Free Texting?

The Department of Transportation and Communications will file a petition to force telecoms firms to make cell phone “texting” free. Meralco executives immediately expressed support for the plan and advised the telecoms firms to just pass on to the consumers the cost of their own calls to recoup some losses.

New Nursing Curriculum

The Commission on Higher Education’s new nursing curriculum requires 2,632 hours of studying instead of the usual 2,142. It shall now include units in video production – so that uploaded YouTube videos of nurses cheering and mocking surgical patients would be of higher quality.

GMA’s Net Worth

President Arroyo’s net worth grew by 11 million last year. That figure would have been higher had ZTE’s national broadband network project pushed through.

China’s Earthquake

China says the death toll from a powerful earthquake last week has surpassed 50,000. Observers say the quake was the “worst killer” of Chinese people in recent years – followed closely by their own government.

Personal

I’ve been called names by readers, particularly militant supporters of labor leader Crispin Beltran, because of my previous post. They’re mad. (They always are anyway.) I approved their comments so that “moderate” visitors of this blog could also read them.

My take on their personal attack against me? Nothing. Thank you for dropping by.

“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” - Gloria Steinem

CRISPIN BELTRAN, 75

Laguna Massacre

After last Friday’s gruesome murder of 10 people in a branch of RCBC in Cabuyao, eight people were killed in a murderous shooting spree in Calamba City yesterday… officially making Laguna province the second most dangerous place in the world today after Iraq.

Laguna Massacre II

Police in Laguna are having a difficult time catching the suspects in the RCBC murder – something that’s not surprising considering that the police couldn’t even catch a single jueteng collector in the province.

Villar is Richest Senator

Senate President Manuel Villar retains the title “richest senator” this year – successfully holding off a late surge from Jamby Madrigal who was hoping to snatch the title after her billionaire aunt’s death last month.

“Ka Bel” Dies

Militant labor leader Crispin Beltran died of head injuries after falling from the rooftop of his home in Bulacan. Now that’s what you call “fallen comrade.”

Ka Bel Dies II

After falling off the roof of his Bulacan house, former KMU leader, staunch government critic, and leftist party-list representative Crispin Beltran died of head injuries. Rumors say former AFP Chief of Staff Hermogenes Esperon hailed the demise as a boost to the military’s goal of wiping out insurgents by 2010.

“Ka Bel” Dies III

Leftist leader Crispin Beltran is dead at 75. Militants are preparing a hero’s burial for Ka Bel that would include a 21-gun salute… from a squad of New People’s Army rebels.

KC in Mindanao

Young actress and UN ambassador for the World Food Program KC Concepcion was shocked and saddened by the hunger situation in Lanao Del Sur. The experience was a huge reality check for KC who didn’t realize – until her Mindanao visit, the impact of her Mommy Sharon’s binge eating.

YOUR WITNESS

JDV: The Witness

The Senate is reportedly planning to call former Speaker Jose de Venecia Jr. as a witness in its probe on the ZTE-NBN deal. (No need for a punch line. That’s funny enough.)

JDV: The Witness II

Malacañang is unfazed about the Senate’s reported plan to call former Speaker Jose de Venecia Jr. as a witness in its probe on the NBN-ZTE deal – especially now that photos of JDV enjoying his part-time job as GMA’s caddie in Shenzen, China have circulated.

JDV: The Witness III

Senator Panfilo Lacson believes former Speaker Jose De Venecia is the “next big witness” who will testify at the Senate NBN-ZTE investigation – unless the Philippine Daily Inquirer comes out with a banner headline identifying a “bigger witness.”

JDV: The Witness IV

Senator Panfilo Lacson’s sources say former Speaker De Venecia is ready to expose not only the ZTE-NBN deal but other anomalies in government as well and everything will be backed by documentary and other evidence. Exhibit A: Himself.

Suplico’s Witness

Iloilo Vice Gov. Rolex Suplico says his new witness in the NBN-ZTE deal might back out of the Senate inquiry, fearful that Malacañang had learned about his identity. The guy doesn’t want to suffer the fate of Romulo Neri whose “identity” was known to Malacañang.

Suplico’s Witness II

Iloilo Vice Gov. Rolex Suplico says the life of “Alex,” – his new witness to the ZTE-NBN deal is in great danger. Of course, Alex would have been safer and at peace today if Suplico didn’t “use” him in the first place.

Suplico’s Witness III

Iloilo Vice Gov. Rolex Suplico said that “suspicious-looking men” have been seen around the neighborhood of “Alex,” his new witness to the ZTE-NBN deal. But Alex’s neighbors allayed Suplico’s fears saying those men just wanted to know how much Alex received from the vice gov and asked if he could share them some “balato.”

Deaths in Myanmar

The United Nations warned that thousands of people who survived Myanmar’s powerful cyclone may die of starvation because of the military junta’s refusal to accept foreign aid. At least now, the tyrannical regime is giving Burmese people a choice: die from gun shot wounds or hunger.

DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT

Lolit, Sam, and Piolo

Entertainment columnist Lolit Solis retracts.
Sam Milby and Piolo Pascual drop 12-million peso libel case.
Yehey! Straight na ulit sila.

Lolit, Sam, and Piolo II

Lolit Solis retracted her earlier statement that she saw an intimate Sam Milby and Piolo Pascual at the poolside of Hotel Sofitel last year. Solis blamed her age (she’s turning 61 on May 20) for the mistake. THIS JUST IN: Lolit Solis has admitted that the two guys that she actually saw at the poolside of Sofitel were Romulo “Piolo” Neri and Jun “Sam” Lozada.

Good News, Bad News

Good News: Sa ginawang kalokokan, Lolit Solis umamin na!
Bad News: Meralco at Napocor, hindi pa!

Good News: Lolit Solis umamin na, humingi ng sorry
Bad News: Lolit Solis puwede nang maging presidente

Good News: Malacañang, hina-hunting ang nagpakalat ng picture ng First Couple habang nag-go-golf sa China
Bad News: Lolit Solis pinagbibintangan

Good News: GMA’s House allies to file class suit vs. Meralco
Bad News: Meralco – to hire lawyer of Sam and Piolo (Panalo!)

Good News: Sa kasong libelo vs Lolit Solis: Katotohanan lumantad na!
Bad News: Sam at Piolo hindi pa

MAY LIWANAG ANG BUHAY?

Meralco and High Power Rates

The Manila Electric Company or Meralco has admitted that consumers are actually paying (beyond what’s allowed by law) for the power firm’s systems losses and its own electric bills amounting to half-a-billion pesos annually. Now we know why the Lopezes despise the Arroyo government so much. Ang magnanakaw ay galit sa…

Meralco and High Power Rates II

The Joint Congressional Power Commission hearing is over. Meralco officials have explained their side to the lawmakers… it’s time for DZMM commentators to defend their bosses to the public.

Meralco and High Power Rates III

In the same hearing, the Joint Congressional Power Commission identified Meralco’s management abuses such as the excessive perks received by Meralco’s top brass. But then again, if you were Meralco spokesman Elpi Cuna who’s main task is to explain and defend theft on radio and TV interviews almost everyday, wouldn’t you demand a high salary?

Briefly Noted

While every other local news website was talking about Meralco’s “sins” against the public, (around 9PM, Tuesday, May 13) ABS-CBN News Online’s top story was taking potshots at the Senate’s “poor track record” in legislation particularly after conducting Senate investigations like yesterday’s hearing on the power sector. ‘Di naman kayo masyadong obvious ‘no? (Here’s a tip: If you want to read negative stories against the Arroyo government these days, ABS-CBN News is the best site to visit.)

Headlines: Calamities

Myanmar hit by a strong cyclone killing 62 thousand
China struck by a powerful earthquake killing 12 thousand
Millions in Manila hit by high power rates; Meralco makes a killing.

Mikey and the Powercom Hearing

Reports say House committee on energy chair and Pampanga Rep. Mikey Arroyo did not talk during the heated hearing on power rates – something that was regarded by many as the congressman’s best contribution to the probe.

Good News, Bad News

Good News: Meralco maglalabas ng print ad upang ipaliwanag ang sinisingil sa publiko
Bad News: Bayad sa print ad, isasama sa electric bill n’yo

Good News: Lopez group bibitawan ang Meralco
Bad News: Ang maniwala, sira ulo!

Good News: Walong opisyal ng Meralco, susuweldo ng 97 million sa taong ito
Bad News: Mas malaki ang ating konsumo, mas malaki ang bonus nilang walo

Good News: Senador Miriam Santiago, pasasabugin ang Meralco
Bad News: She lied… bwahahahahaha!

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

Bunye To Quit

Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye will quit his post next month “to fulfill a wish of going back to banking.” He is set to join Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas. Rumors say he will be assigned to the Counterfeit Bills Detection Section since it’s quite related to the stuff he did in Malacañang at the height of the “Hello Garci” scandal. You know… identifying fakes from originals.

Jamby and Money

Sen. Jamby Madrigal has finally admitted that she’s in fact pursuing money from the estate left behind by her billionaire aunt. If you would recall, she initially insisted that her lawsuit against her relatives was about “justice” and “principle.” But that didn’t matter. No one believed her anyway.

Jamby and Money II

Sen. Jamby Madrigal told the media that, “Kung manalo ako sa kasong ito, maski anong perang makuha ko, ibibigay ko sa foundation ng tita ko.” She added, “Wala akong habol na pera dito.” Hindi halata.

Jamby and Money III

Sen. Jamby Madrigal has finally admitted that she’s in fact pursuing money from the estate left behind by her billionaire aunt. And that’s just one. I heard she considered admitting another “personal issue” – but was prevailed upon by her husband, who told her to shut the f*ck up.

Marikina Priest vs. Sex, Homosexuality

In an article posted on the website of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, Marikina parish priest Ric Equia said the Internet is full of sex and homosexuality because it has been “penetrated” by Satan – which makes the priest understandably envious. Unlike the devil, he couldn’t “penetrate.”

Marikina Priest vs. Sex, Homosexuality II

In an article posted on the CBCP website, Marikina parish priest Ric Equia said the Internet is full of sex and homosexuality because it has been “penetrated” by Satan. If Equia views homosexuality or sex as evil, then someone must tell him that he is a product of his parents’ demonic act.

Luli and the Inquirer

An irate Luli Macapagal Arroyo wrote the Philippine Daily Inquirer Saturday and accused the newspaper of maliciously and falsely reporting that she took a presidential chopper to Boracay Island last week when her Asian Spirit flight got delayed for six hours. Luli complained that the Inquirer did not bother verifying the facts before writing the story. Apparently, Luli is not aware that verifying sources would be conduct unbecoming of the Inquirer. Masanay na lang kasi kayo.

Cojuangco-Kierulf Wedding

Patty Cojuangco, Tony Boy’s daughter, recently wed businessman Anthony Kierulf. In attendance were the bride’s socialite lola Imelda Ongsiako-Cojuangco, Gretchen’s daughter Dominique, and of course, Tony Boy. Thanks to the three, the wedding had something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Separated At Birth?

They’re not related by blood (L-R): Vicky Fernandez-Zubiri, Imelda Ongsiako-Cojuangco, and Margarita “Tingting” De Los-Reyes Cojuangco but they look like one another, don’t they? Let me guess, related by Botox?

GETTING READY TO RUMBLE

GMA vs. The Lopezes

Malacañang’s allies in Congress, Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago and Cong. Mikey Arroyo are out to draw first blood on the Lopez-owned Manila Electric Co. as they initiate a joint congressional probe on Meralco’s high power rates. The Lopezes are unfazed though. If GMA has Miriam and Mikey, Meralco has DZMM and ANC.

JDV III On Food Crisis

Businessman Jose “Joey” de Venecia III said the cause of the country’s rice crisis can be described in one word – corruption. I am offering an alternative description in three letters – JDV.

Threats Against JDV III

Months after testifying on the ZTE broadband scandal, losing bidder Joey De Venecia III told the media that threats on his life continue. He didn’t give a reason though why the public should give a damn.

Gays and Santacruzan

Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales discourages homosexuals from joining the Santacruzan… totally ignoring the fact that without gays , the Reyna Elenas, Reyna Emperatrizes and the sagalas would probably look like menopausal hermana mayores sans make up.

No Cams, Phones in ORs

The Commission on Higher Education has banned medical students from using video cameras, mobile phones with camera features and other similar equipment while attending clinical classes and conducting surgeries. But if medical students have attending physicians like those docs at the Vicente Memorial Medical Center in Cebu, why fear a CHEd memo?

Piolo and Sam to DOJ

Claiming that entertainment columnist Lolit Solis has been bragging that she’s “close” to some DOJ prosecutors, rumored sweethearts Piolo Pascual and Sam Milby went to Justice Sec. Raul Gonzales’s office and sought assurances that the libel case they had filed against Solis would be handled fairly. Secretary Gonzales assured Piolo and Sam that the DOJ is impartial and fair – especially to gay people.

On A Serious Note

Unimpeachable sources say showbiz celeb F is dying. Celeb F went abroad recently for a check up but Celeb F’s American doctors were honest to say that therapy or any other form of medication is useless at this point in time. Celeb F decided to return home. Close friends quoted Celeb F as saying, “Ayokong sa US pa ako abutan.”

Sigh.

Personal

The NBA’s best player for the past four years has finally won a well-deserved MVP trophy. Yehey! Next up for Kobe Bryant, another NBA title!

DANGER ZONE

 Bayan Muna’s Casiño and Meralco

Leftist party-list Rep. Teodoro Casiño slammed President Arroyo’s call on big businesses to join forces with the government to force Meralco to lower electricity rates. Has Elpi Cuna been replaced as Meralco spokesman? 

Lacson’s Allegation

Sen. Panfilo Lacson called for a Senate inquiry into allegations of bribery and extortion in the construction of one of the country’s biggest foreign-funded projects – a $2-billion shipyard being built in Mindanao by South Korea’s Hanjin Heavy Industries Inc. Lacson hinted that President Arroyo could be involved in the brewing bribery/extortion scandal. But that’s Lacson. I heard that if this scandal fails to topple the Arroyos, he’ll make the biggest revelation of his entire career – Gloria Arroyo masterminded the Kuratong Baleleng massacre.

Senate Probe

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago has filed a resolution calling for a Senate inquiry into the rectal surgery scandal at the Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center in Cebu City. Not to be outdone, some congressmen have also expressed interest to conduct their own investigation – a move that was understandable since they have something in common with the victim’s mocked anatomy. You know. Asshole.

World Communications Day Warning

On the occasion of World Communications Day, a Marikina parish priest warned that the Internet is becoming the next danger zone for children because of sex and homosexuality offered in many Web sites. Yup, the next danger zone – after the Catholic Church perhaps.

World Communications Day Warning II

On the occasion of World Communications Day, a Marikina parish priest warned that the Internet is becoming the next danger zone for children because of sex and homosexuality offered in many web sites. Personally though, I think learning about sex or homosexuality from websites is far less dangerous than learning about sex or homosexuality from priests.

Extra Pay

The Associated Press reported that life in the remote Pag-asa Island (part of the Spratlys) is so lonely that Filipino soldiers stationed there get to receive extra “loneliness pay” – the same incentive that Jamby Madrigal’s husband has allegedly been asking from her for years to no avail.

Have a productive week!

TEAM UNITY RETURNS

Cabinet Revamp

The reported impending appointment of defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay to the Bureau of Customs has received a lot of flak. Critics say the president must appoint someone who really knows smuggling and the operation of smugglers. Malacañang agrees. The problem is – can the president appoint her husband?

Cabinet Revamp II

Last year, defeated Manila mayoral candidate Lito Atienza was appointed environment secretary. Recent reports say defeated senatorial candidate Mike Defensor will be the next press secretary, defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay the next chief of the Bureau of Customs, and defeated senatorial candidate Tito Sotto the next chair of the Dangerous Drugs Board. Yet another defeated senatorial candidate Tessie Aquino-Oreta is reportedly being eyed as the next DepEd secretary. If this trend continues, President Arroyo will soon lead a cabinet of losers.

Cabinet Revamp III

Unconfirmed reports say Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye will be replaced by defeated senatorial candidate Michael Defensor. But Bunye has nothing to worry about. According to the grapevine, he’s being groomed to replace Edu Manzano as Optical Media Board chairman – primarily due to his ability to identify fake from original tapes.

Wage Hike and the CBCP

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines has joined labor groups in demanding a wage hike for Filipino workers. The Catholic Church’ call was fueled by the alleged shortfall in collected donations from parishioners recently.

Injured, Again

For the umpteenth time, the military reported that Abu Sayyaf leader Isnilon Hapilon has been wounded following a gunbattle. If I were to believe AFP’s claim, I’d really pity this Hapilon guy. He must be a walking scar by now. (Pang-ilan na bang “wounded” report ‘yan? I’ve lost count.)

Botched Surgery

Doctors Manny and Pie Calayan are facing a P26-million lawsuit filed by a Filipino-American who accused the couple of botching a penis enlargement procedure. Patient Louem Martinez a.k.a. Louem Boschuk claimed his penis sagged and was badly deformed after the operation. He is now seeking 20 million pesos in actual damages, 3 million pesos in moral damages, and another 3 million pesos in exemplary damages… officially making his manhood the ugliest but most expensive Filipino cock ever.