RICE AND FALL

31 03 2008

null Half Rice

McDonald’s will start serving half rice to its customers starting April 17 in an effort to help conserve the country’s supply of the staple… a move that should have been done a long time ago when McDonald’s first served its emaciated half chicken!

null This Just In! Tokyo Tokyo has sent word that it would not stop its “Eat All You Kanin” promo despite the looming rice crisis. Instead, it will modify the promo title and call it “Eat All You Kanin… While Supplies Last.”

Sex Education

The Department of Education is set to launch sex education in public schools. That’s how serious this government is in preparing for the looming rice crisis.

null Top 5 Signs That There’s An (Extremely) Severe Rice Shortage (As in sobra na!)

5: During meals, you don’t use spoon and pork for the rice. You use tweezers.

4: When sparrows or ibong maya in rice fields starts feeding – on scarecrows.

3: When you order rice at McDonald’s, the McDo crew would always ask: “Rice ba sir? Ilang grains po?”

2: When the only rice you actually see on television… is Condoleeza Rice. (And your kid starts asking if she’s edible.)

And the No. 1 sign that there’s an extremely severe rice shortage (As in sobra na!)…

1: When you hear your neighbor tell her maid, “Indaaay… gumagabi na. Magsaing ka na ng Boy Bawang.”

null Irreplaceable

Because of her ailment, former president Corazon Aquino cannot join the scheduled series of “mass for truth” that she initiated in support of NBN ZTE witness Rodolfo “Jun” Lozada. Kris Aquino has reportedly offered to take the place of her sick mother but Lozada’s handlers declined… mainly because he didn’t want to be upstaged.

null Cruz, Communion & the Arroyos

A congressman has asked the CBCP to sanction Archbishop Oscar Cruz for allegedly lying when he denied saying that he wouldn’t give the Holy Communion to “public sinners” like President Arroyo. Asked what he would do next if he would be stripped of his priesthood, Cruz jokingly replied, “Magtatanim ako ng kamote.” Of course, he’s kidding. He’s so good at lambasting the government; ABS-CBN would surely be interested in giving him a radio program.

null Lotto Winner (Daw!)

According to the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office, a single bettor from Quezon City won the 249 million peso-jackpot prize in the 6/49 SuperLotto draw last night. That’s according to PCSO. Either we believe them or we don’t. Hmmm, we don’t really have a choice, do we?

Robbery in QC

A cell-phone distribution firm in Quezon City lost an undetermined amount of cash and a service vehicle to fully-armed robbers posing as policemen over the weekend. That’s the sad reality about our law enforcers – even if the robbers staged the heist as themselves, the victims would still suspect them as cops.

Personal

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6 responses

31 03 2008
gerrycho

IMHO, thats the saddest joke a foreigner can throw to us Filipinos — the inventors of Hybrid Rice, the country that taught its neighboring countries how to plant them now experiencing rice shortage!

mapapamura ka talaga! gah!

1 04 2008
leigh

Sinabi mo! And to think na nasa Laguna lang ang IRRI. (Remember, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation donated millions of dollars a few months back. tsk tsk tsk)

God save us !

4 04 2008
carlos_m

Magaling, magaling, magaling ang presidenteng ekonomista natin! Kapag gumaganda ang ekonomiya, dahil daw sa kanya. Kapag nagkaka-cisis, ipapasasa sa iba ang — sa world market, sa rice hoarder, etc. Bansot na, credit-grabber pa! Alis dyan!

9 04 2008
Juan Carlos de la Cruz

Totoo ba ang rice crisis? Or just another diversionary tactic? New issues do emerge such that people would lose tract in evicting the pygmy.

6 05 2008
philippine politics

those 5 signs can be a reality if the government will not be able to address the problem. Right now our government bidding failed. The importation of another 630 million metric tons is a failure since there is only one bidder and it cant even meet the bidding requirements. Where can we source out our need for rice?

and yet the President is proud to say that the economy is rising….

18 07 2009
1mprayers

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