BEFORE YOU COULD even accuse me of insouciance, let me tell you that I belong to a family with a history of cancer. Two aunts died of throat cancer, an uncle succumbed to liver cancer, another uncle of bone cancer, a first cousin of breast cancer, and two years ago, my father lost his battle against three forms of the disease: lymphoma, left lung carcinoma and brain cancer. Ergo, the statistical probability of me dying from cancer is pretty high, even higher than… say, Kris Aquino winning an acting award in the next 10 years. That being said, let’s talk about the day’s biggest news: Frank Drilon’s tears! Just kidding.
Cory’s Cancer
The icon of democracy, former president Corazon Aquino has colon cancer. Her children said that weight loss was one of the more noticeable symptoms of the disease. Fortunately, it wasn’t liver cancer; otherwise, they would have a hard time noticing the symptom – paninilaw.
Cory’s Cancer II
Sen. Noynoy Aquino and sister Kris announced that their mom, former president Cory Aquino has colon cancer. Viewers find it ironic though that while it’s Cory who’s cancer-stricken, Noynoy’s the one who’s losing hair.
Cory’s Cancer III
Upon learning that his friend Cory has colon cancer, Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim shed tears in front of a tv camera. Actually, Mayor Lim really wanted to cry on tv after his son’s arrest for drug dealing. But he just couldn’t. Yesterday, he took advantage of the opportunity to let it all out.
Cory’s Cancer IV
Holding back her tears, Cory’s controversial daughter Kris told Korina Sanchez, “Kung puwede nga lang sana, ako na lang ang magkasakit, ‘wag na siya.” (Oo nga Kris, kung puwede lang sana.)
Breaking News!
Seven week-pregnant Kris Aquino suffered a miscarriage today, March 25. O ‘yan Kris… wish granted!
IN OTHER NEWS…
SC Favors Neri
Voting 9 to 6, the Supreme Court granted CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri’s petition seeking to prevent the Senate from forcing him to answer questions on the anomalous NBN ZTE deal covered by executive privilege. Neri’s secrets will be safe for now.
Ban Boxing
Cong. Edno Joson wants Congress to ban boxing since many young boys are lured to it because of the thought that entering the ring is the easiest way to get rich. Following the same argument, then we might as well ban Congress.
Noli Is No. 1
What’s News: Vice President Noli de Castro topped the latest survey on presidentiables conducted by Pulse Asia.
Good News: Buti na lang, hindi ngayon ang eleksyon!
Grabe talaga si Kris, ayaw patalo sa headlines.
I wonder what “scandal” Gretchen Baretto will do to top this and make her the headline…..
hahahaha….you iconoclast! but funny still.
i still owe you coffee. when?
Dave
Hi Loi, actually, Noynoy gallantly volunteered to have chemo first to find out if it will be safe for dear mama cory, now we’re seeing the side effects!
naawa ako kay Coty Aquino nung malaman ko na may cancer siya, pero mas lalo akong naawa kay Cory habang naglilitanya si Kris Aquino, nakupo, halatang halatang pinipilit na tumulo ang luha ng bruhilda. Dios mio, Kris Aquino, maski si Scorcese pa ang magtuturo sa iyo kung paano mag-akting at patuluin ang luha ng kasing bilis ng mga Best Actresses sa Oscars, mahihirapan talaga. Idaan mo na lang sa Eye Mo ‘day.
wow… i never thought someone would actually doubt kris aquino shedding tears for her mother.. on the contrary, she’s stopping the tears… that is more genuine than crying without tears like, well, willie revillame..
Isa lang ang aking masasabi sa Mayor ng Maynila. Binoto ko siya dahil sa aking kagustuhan na matangal ang problemang droga sa Lungsod ng Maynila. Akala ko dati siya ang makatutulong sa mga problema sa droga.
Ngayon ko lang nalaman na isa pala siya sa problema. Isa nga siyang pulis na matulis at kitang kita lalo na ng mahuli si Manny Lim na anak ng alkalde na nagtutulak ng droga.
Ang sabi niya ay hindi nya tutulungan subali’t alam natin na nahuli siya sa akto ng pagtutulak ngunit ngayon ang kaso ay isa nalamang gumagamit lang umano ng droga.
Alam natin na si Mayor ay isang maimpluwensiyang tao at lalo na sa ating kapulisan. Kaya lang nakakatakot isipin na isang Mayor kasama ang kanyang pamilya ang nagtutulak ng droga sa lungsod.
Paano na ang mga mahihirap at lalo na mga anak ng mga dukha? Ano ang aming ipanlalaban kung mga ganitong klaseng panloloko sa tao ay nangyayari?
Noong una ay hindi ko pinaniwalaan ng mahuli si Nestor Lim sa San Francisco. Subali’t pagkatapos ng pagkahuli kay Manny Lim sigurado ako na mga kuwento patungkol kay Roland Lim at ng kanyang ama sa umanoy drug pushing ay totoo rin!
Para kay Mayor Lim. Ang pinakamagandang gawin mo ngayon ay pinturahan mo ang bahay mo na nakuha mo kay George Go sa Forbes Park o kaya naman patayin mo rin ang iyong anak gaya ng sinasabi mong pumapatay ka ng drug pushers.
Hindi mo magawa dahil alam mong kasama ka sa kalokohan ng anak mo! Ayusin mo muna problema ng anak mo bago ka makisawsaw sa iba!
Hey Hekler,
Your Blog is so witty, you cracked me up! May I link up with yours?
Thanks!
sana si GMA na lang ang nagkacancer at ng mawala na sya . Ang masamang damo talaga — he he
bakit hindi pa kasi dalhin sa SC ang kaso mismo ng ZTE… ano ba yun!
salot talaga yan c jun lozada, nandadamay ng sumpa nya, una ay ang kapatid nya na pinatay, ngayon c cory.
cory bago ka mamatay, ayusin mo sana ang gusot sa pinakamamahal mong hacienda luisita, dapat linawagin mo kung bakit hindi mo sya sinama sa agrarian reform, at bakit nalulugi ang hacienda samantala namumuhay ka, c peping cojuanco at sampu ng kamag anak niyo sa labis na karangyaan, kilalanin mo sana ang libo libong magbubukid na pinapatay nyo sa gutom at sa bala
ang katotohanan ay kampi c gloria sa magbubukid kaya ka bumaliktad at sumapi sa gloria resign movement, ayaw mong mawala sa yo ang pinakamamahal mong symbolo ng karangyaang cojuangco.
nakakalungkot para sayo na khit sakabila ng iyong pagiging makapal ang mukha at walang hiyang pagtalikod sa alintuntunin ng malaya at masaganang pilipinas ay mawawala pa rin syo ang sinakim mong hacienda luisita
ano ba ang katotohanan para syo cory?
to pres. cory, just pray hard and nothing is impossible to our Almighty. I been through to that colon problem situation.. and undergo major operation at st. luke’s.. just leave everything to Him..
I’ll pray for you..
haayy naku ang pangit ni kris! wawa si cory…