CHICKEN CROSSING (VERSION 2008)

19 03 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Here’s why according to controversial Filipino personalities (government officials, politicians, prominent businessmen, and local celebrities):

21: Lolit Solis: “Ma at pa! Basta! Sure ako sa aking nakita! Tumawid ang manok na ‘yan at may kasama pa siyang isa. Hinding-hindi ako magre-retract.”

20: ABS-CBN: “Somebody manipulated the chicken into crossing the road and we believe that the manipulator comes from another network.”

19: GMA 7: “We strongly condemn the insinuation that we were involved in the manipulation of the chicken. We will take this baseless allegation to court to clear our name.”

18: Juan Manuel Marquez: “To do some unfinished business.”

17: Manny Pacquiao: “I don’t agree. For me, business is over.”

16: Tim Yap/The Gucci Gang: “To party! (And snort some stuff.)”

15: Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel: “Oh I’m sorry. A-ha-ha. I’m only 17 years old. I did not expect that the chickens is a tough hens.”

14: MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando: “Pano’ng di tatawid ‘yan eh wala nang madaanan sa sidewalk. Okupado ng vendors!”

13: Joseph Estrada: “A legal study shows that the chicken can still cross the road even if it has failed to complete its first attempt to get to the other side.”

12: Albay Gov. Joey Salceda: “The important thing is the chicken didn’t get run over. Such a lucky bitch!”

11: Cory Aquino: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Let us all pray so that the truth will come out.”

10: President Arroyo: “I reiterate: my government is focused on the economy. We will not be bothered by the noise created by some fowls marching in some streets.”

9: CBCP: “We are also for the truth and we believe that no one should prevent witnesses from talking. But please, leave the chicken alone and let it finish its journey to the other side!”

8: Sen. Joker Arroyo: “Don’t mess around with my chicken!”

7: Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “Let’s subpoena the chicken and ask why. If it refuses to talk, I will expose its secrets.”

6: Sen. Panfilo Lacson: “I have a surprise witness who will tell us why the chicken crossed the road. Ladies and gentlemen… my witness!”

5: Leo San Miguel: “Aba malay ko! Wala akong alam d’yan.”

4: Benjamin Abalos: “Preposterous! I categorically deny na nagbanta akong ipapapatay ang manok na ‘yan kaya biglang tumawid sa kabila!”

3: CHEd Chairman Romulo Neri: “I heard that motorists always try to beat the red light in that street. I believe the chicken crossed the road to moderate their speed.”

2: Jun Lozada: “Kinabahan kasi ang chicken nang lapitan ito ng tatlong tandang na hindi nagpakilala. Naalala tuloy niya ang nangyari noon kina McChicken at Chickenjoy… kinidnap tapos pinatay.”

And the No. 1 answer to the question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

1: First Gentleman Mike Arroyo: “You keep saying that the chicken crossed the road but where is your evidence!? Maglabas muna kayo ng ebidensya!”

HERE’S TWO MORE:
Philippine Daily Inquirer (Banner Story): “Unnamed sources say the chicken crossed the road to lay eggs”

Two days later…

Philippine Daily Inquirer (Erratum): “We would like to apologize to the chicken. It couldn’t possibly lay eggs as what we have previously reported because the chicken was in fact – a rooster!”

Enjoy your vacation!

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13 responses

19 03 2008
waraywaray

lol! witty and creative
contoversial na rin ang chicken. lol

20 03 2008
bkk

why no post about the gucci gang…

20 03 2008
Geisha

why did they crossed the road?

because their poultry is full of political shit, rallies and rants! administration and opposition alike!

21 03 2008
gerrycho

witty as ever loi :D
especially that one liner about the gucci gang…

21 03 2008
issapotching

wahahaha!!!! panalo!!!! celebrity din ang chicken??

si janina, ginawa na lang talaga excuse yun age eh noh, waaaaaaaa! hahaha..she did not expect that the chickens IS tough hens..what a tough lifes! haahahhahaha

26 03 2008
Edik

can i post this at my blogspot?

7 04 2008
amateur misanthrope

Hahahahahahaha!

You are brilliant.

7 09 2008
My Blog » Blog Archive » CHICKEN CROSSING (VERSION 2008)

[...] CHICKEN CROSSING (VERSION 2008) [...]

20 09 2008
The 2008 Philippine Blog Awards » Blog Archive » Best Single Post Finalists

[...] Entertainment:CHICKENCROSSING(VERSION2008) Entertainment:Gwapo,Defined.Daw.(No,Really?) Entertainment:WhenIlookattheStars:ASwitchfootNight [...]

21 09 2008
Here Comes Philippine Blog Awards 2008! | Prudence and Madness

[...] Entertainment:  CHICKEN CROSSING(VERSION2008) [...]

21 09 2008
ASA PA! « The Professional Heckler

[...] I actually have two nominations pala. The other one was for Best Single Post. [...]

1 01 2009
Mommy

Excellent. Bumabata ako sa kakatawa whenever i read your blog.

19 04 2009
phreddox

hahaha! Win na win :D this blog entry brings back funny memories.

Sen. Jamby Madrigal: “Let’s subpoena the chicken and ask why. If it refuses to talk, I will expose its secrets.”

lol! Asan na nga pala si Jamby? Mukang lie low ngayon ah :D

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