EUREKA!

THERE ARE 12 surnames of newsmakers, active politicians, and government officials hidden in the paragraph below. Consider two of them – Trillanes and Zubiri as giveaways. Can you find the other 10? Hint: There are five senators, two cabinet officials, a congressman, a controversial elections official, and a man of cloth (living).

Nicolas Escudé romped away with four singles titles when he was still active but he wasn’t able to penetrate the ATP Tour’s Top 10 ranking. I was reminded of the talented French netter when I caught the third round match between two Frenchmen last night in this year’s Wimbledon tournament. But we’ll not be talking about tennis here. It’s just that I was glued to Star Sports when I thought of writing this puzzle. This will be easy. In appreciation of your efforts, I might be doling out original bossa nova CDs for the first three people who’ll send the correct answers. Good luck and have fun! Talking about fun, newly elected senator Antonio Trillanes wasn’t having fun when he took his oath. He was blazing. He used the opportunity to take potshots at the president and Miguel Zubiri. For his adoring fans, he is the heroic bida and both GMA & Migz are villains. Ah politics! We are so engrossed with politics that our attention has been diverted from the Wyeth milk mess. If we don’t remain vigilant, that could happen again. Who knows? Today, Bonna and Promil, tomorrow, Enfagrow or Enfalac. So never ignore pressing issues like this one. From milk to coffee. Batangueños, particularly residents of Talisay town oppose the planned construction of a spa by a Korean firm on Taal Volcano. The Koreans might have secured a permit and an ECC but Philvolcs was apparently not consulted. The latest rumor is that the town mayor who approved of the project now wears a bullet-proof white vest because of threats he’s been receiving lately. Here’s a piece of trivia: the mayor lives in the neighborhood where I was born. He was an ordinary man then until politics transformed him into what he is now. On the topic of transformation, friends who watched Transformers in Greenbelt ranted about the film’s amazing effects. I wasn’t a fan of the cartoon program when I was a kid so I rather watch the news about the alleged extortion activities of some of the members of the Commission on Appointments. [Sign of old age? Maybe. Sigh.] The finance chief has barely defended himself from the graft allegation of some members of the CA, yet another accusation is being hurled against him. “This is war!,” Roy of Baguio who emailed me yesterday said. I heard that the “big boss” in Malacañang is no longer happy with what’s happening. Oh well, let’s just wait and see. I need to remind you that there are 10 surnames hidden in this paragraph. Actually 12 but two are very obvious. I suggest that you print this out before starting your search. Enjoy!

[Note: Underline or change the font color of the surnames that you will find and then email the paragraph to: professionalheckler@yahoo.com.]

Have a great weekend!

KOKO KO’D!

No TRO for Koko

In a unanimous decision, the 12 justices of the Supreme Court dismissed Atty. Aquilino “Koko” Pimentel III’s request for a temporary restraining order to stop the recanvassing of votes in Maguindanao. Team Unity scored 12-0 in Maguindanao, the Genuine Opposition got 12-0 at the Supreme Court. Fair enough?

AFP vs. Communist Rebels

The Armed Forces of the Philippines vowed to defeat Communist rebels in three years. Two years will be spent fighting the Reds in the countryside; another year – in Congress.

Famous Doctors Threatened

Reports say the New People’s Army is extorting P1-M monthly from celebrity doctors Manny and Pie Calayan and threatened to hurt them if they fail to shell out the said amount. Fearing for their lives, the Calayans offered another deal – they’ll sponsor the makeover and regular beauty treatment of leftist Rep. Liza Maza instead. The NPAs refused. They want cash.

Poor Attendance

Bong Revilla and Jamby Madrigal posted the most number of absences among senators of the 13th Congress. Fellow senators have reportedly advised them to avoid frequent “boys’ night out.”

Good Attendance

Jinggoy Estrada posted a perfect attendance among senators of the 13th Congress. Yawns!

Shabu Tiangge

The controversial shabu tiangge that was discovered in Pasig City last year is back in operation. That’s not really surprising because even after the May 14 elections, the Eusebios are still in control of the city hall.

Convicted

A Filipino was meted 42 years of jail time for trying to kill three cops in Malaysia last year. If that happened in the Philippines, the suspect would be hailed as a hero.

Female Circumcision

Egypt has banned the widely-practiced clitoridectomy or female circumcision following the death of a 12-year-old girl who underwent the procedure a few days ago. But tribal Egyptian women insist that they be allowed to freely make a choice: life without clitoris or death.

LINTANG BEDOL

Top 5 Movie Remakes Starring Outgoing Congressmen Prospero Pichay & Rolex Suplico and their Fellow Members of the Powerful Commission on Appointments Being Accused of Extortion

5: Runaway Bribe

4: Men In Black(mail)

3: A Time to A Kikil

2: The League of Extort-ordinary Gentlemen

And the No. 1 movie remake starring outgoing Congressmen Prospero Pichay & Rolex Suplico and their fellow members of the powerful Commission on Appointments…

1: The Lords of Hiling

Bedol’s Guns

Controversial Maguindanao provincial elections supervisor Lintang Bedol says he owns a Magnum .357, four pistols and some 20 baby Armalites. Now… those who believe that Bedol is a cheater, raise your right hand.

Bedol’s Guns II

Maguindanao provincial elections supervisor Lintang Bedol admitted to owning at least 25 guns. But considering the number of people who want to see him dead, Bedol might actually need more.

Arresting Bedol

Saying he was guilty of contempt, the Commission on Elections issued an arrest order against Maguindanao provincial elections supervisor Lintang Bedol. The Comelec is now looking for a volunteer who is brave enough to serve the arrest order.

Corny Corner

Name Game: Lintang Bedol
Translated to English, Lintang Bedol becomes Leech Bedol. When a Visayan gets mad at him, the person would say, Leechy ka! Syet, ang corny!

Mike Arroyo’s Birthday

First Gentleman Mike Arroyo’s wish on his 61st birthday today, June 27: UNITY. Maybe he didn’t just notice but everyone seems to be united already. Against him.

Sexiest

In a poll conducted by FHM magazine, Katrina Halili was voted the sexiest. For the next issue, FHM’s poll question will be: “Who is Katrina Halili?”

Ruffa, Annabelle

Headline No. 1: Ruffa and Yilmaz settle row
Headline No. 2: Annabelle Rama to star in a Mother Lily film
Our national nightmare is not yet over.

EXTORTIONISTS

Extortionists?

House Speaker Jose De Venecia urged Cong. Herminio Teves and son, Finance Sec. Margarito Teves to identify extortionist solons who demanded favors in exchange for the younger Teves’ confirmation. Wait. Extortionist solons? Isn’t that redundant?

Extortionists II

Outgoing Surigao Del Sur Rep. Prospero Pichay, a member of the powerful Commission on Appointments, categorically denied that congressmen-members of the CA are extortionists. Other CA members opted to keep mum on the issue last week. But rumors say they are willing to face the media very soon – on one condition: bayad muna.

Disaster

Senator Aquilino Pimentel warns of electoral disaster if Maguindanao votes are counted. By electoral disaster, he means “personal electoral disaster” because counting the votes of Maguindanaoans will deprive his son Koko the rare chance of joining him in the senate.

Recall Order

Wyeth Philippines has published in several newspapers the list of milk brands covered by the Bureau of Food and Drugs’ recall order. Internally, Wyeth is also busy finalizing the list of officers and employees who will be jobless soon following this milk mess.

Postscript to an Outburst

My SmartBro nightmare continued over the weekend. Last Saturday, my connection was disrupted twice. Yesterday (Sunday) four SmartBro customer service reps had to endure a buttf*cking sort of experience as I unleashed my frustration over the company’s mediocre service. Nope, I wasn’t mad. I was furious!

Here’s a sample transcript of the phone conversations. (And what I wanted to say but couldn’’t.)

SmartBro: Customer care hotline, this is Miss Invectives Absorber how may I help you?

Heckler: (Of course you cannot help me!) This is Mr. Vesuvius of Makati – again! My service reference number is blah-blah-blah.

SmartBro: Thanks for that info. What’s your concern sir?

Heckler: (Ah, nothing much. I just wanted to congratulate you and your colleagues there at the SmartBro Hotline Center because SmartBro has a f*cked up service thereby assuring you of a job as calls from irate subscribers will surely flood your lines!) My connection is disrupted – again! This is the fifth time it happened in six days and this is my third call today. Chances are you will tell me that there’s a technical problem at the base station.

SmartBro: Kindly hold on sir, I’ll just check your account.

Heckler: Sure. (As if I had a choice!)

SmartBro: Thank you for waiting. I’m sorry sir but there’s a technical problem at the base station. Kindly monitor your connection in 24 to 48 hours.

Heckler: [Of course, I expected you to say that! Come on, can’t you be more novel with your excuse? Your technical group has been fixing that freakin’ base station for weeks. Wala na bang katapusan ‘yan!) Ah ok! Thanks anyway.

Well, guess what. It would have been more helpful if Mr & Ms SmartBro customer service rep gave a more creative justification for their inefficient service. That could have somehow eased my frustration. I was thinking of the following:

Top 5 Things to Tell An Irate SmartBro Subscriber If You Were A Customer Service Representative

5: “I won’t say sorry for our poor service Mr. Vesuvius. Lest you forget, SmartBro didn’t force you to be a subscriber. So stop whining or I’ll kick your dumb ass off this planet!”

4: “I’m sorry sir. But here’s a suggestion: why not try Globe Broadband? That’s the essence of competition and a deregulated telecoms industry, right?”

3: “I’m sorry sir but we’re just being consistent. Get used to it!”

2: “I’m sorry sir but our big boss, Manny Pangilinan is so preoccupied with his favorite pastime – basketball and basketball players. He doesn’t have that much time to check on the efficiency of SmartBro’s service. And he doesn’t really care if the people behind SmartBro are actually doing something to address the problem of poor service. Ang mahalaga, makapasok sa PBA finals ang Talk N’ Text.”

And the top thing to tell an irate SmartBro subscriber if you were a customer service representative:

1: “Sir, I know you’re frustrated with our service. And I am sincerely sorry for that. If you want, I can offer my personal service. Care to trade digits? Here’s mine: 0910-675-BLOW.”

GOT MILK?

The Wyeth Case

Millions of cans and boxes of Wyeth milk products like Promil and Promil Kid – which are still out in the market – were discovered to have developed rust and mold on the packaging. Now we know the secret of Promil Kids: kalawang at amag lang pala!

The Wyeth Case II

Millions of cans and boxes of Wyeth milk products like Bonakid, which are still out in the market, were discovered to have developed rust and mold on the packaging. Because of this development, the Bonakid jingle has been reworded. Altogether now… Bona Kid… batang may amag!

The Wyeth Case III

Aside from Bona and Promil, Wyeth will also recall millions of cans of Progress Gold from the market due to molds and rust in the packaging of the milk products. But don’t be surprised if Wyeth introduces a new brand in the coming weeks – Progress Brown.

Missing Sin

During the commemoration of Cardinal Sin’s second death anniversary, Balanga City Bishop Socrates Villegas admitted that he sorely misses holding the hands of the late Manila Archbishop. Tell me, did Bishop Soc just come out?

Manila Zoo, Out Zoon?

Reports say the Manila Zoo might be gone soon to give way to the construction of the Philippine Basketball Association or PBA Dome. But parents and children need not worry because the animals at the zoo will be transferred to a place where they rightfully belong – in Congress.

Manny Pacquiao

Manny Pacquiao has dropped his plans to take up political science and has decided to study English instead. That is an ill-advised decision since broken English is his best source of humor.

Regine’s Career

Regine Velasquez says she’s willing to give up her career for boyfriend Ogie Alcasid. If she’s really serious, then she must do it soon because she doesn’t have that much “career” left.

Most Irritating Words?

“Blog”, “netiquette”, “cookie” and “wiki” have been voted among the most irritating words spawned by the Internet. Read full article here.

Personal

Apologies for the delay in posting this new article. I was about to publish this post when my Smart BRO connection was disrupted (again!) by what a Smart Hotline dude described as “technical problems at the base station” (again!). Mind you, this has happened not just once but several times! Not once Ms. Susan Roces! Maraming beses na!

Before I became a Smart BRO subscriber, I have heard and read countless complaints against Smart Bro. But the masochist in me ignored them. Today, I am tempted to form a “Smart Bro Ka Ng Ina Mo!” cult. Who wants to join… raise your hands!

I am not done yet.

When my connection was abruptly halted, I immediately dialed *1888 – the Smart Bro Hotline. Press 1 for Hell, press 2 for Purgatory and Press 3 for Hell! But since the Vatican has decreed that purgatory doesn’t exist I pressed 4 so I could speak directly to Beelzebub himself!

Fuming mad, I rehearsed my two-page diatribe. Mt. Vesuvius is about to erupt. Poor customer service rep! He’ll either be Pompeii or Herculaneum tonight. So I waited. And waited. And waited. No answer!

When will I hear the line, “Thank you for calling Hell. This is Satan, how may I help you!” Five minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes… nobody bothered to take my call! Where could Satan be? Taking a shower? I heard it’s humid in hell these days.

And then finally… after 1 hour and 22 minutes, somebody spoke:
Blah… blah… blah.
I replied:
Bleeh, bleeh, bleeh.
He retorted:
Bluh. bluh. bluh.
I asked:
In short?!?
He replied:
“Technical problems at the base station.”

Smart BRO made me wait for 82 minutes only to give me a six-word excuse for their inefficiency. Where is justice in that?

Times like this, I wanna down a glass of milk.
Promil, anyone?

SCANDALS

THE FEUDING Bektases have declared a truce. The Gretchen Barretto-John Estrada Kissinggate scandal is over. And both Annabelle Rama and Dolly Anne Carvajal have refused to appear on talk shows. That’s good, right? Wrong! We want scandals! We want mudslinging! We want gossip! We want controversies! We want more! So here goes…

The Top 10 Scandals We’d Like to See

10: Caught on tape: James Yap giving Boy Abunda a facial; Kris Aquino to file for annulment

9: Former Congressman Romeo Jalosjos escapes but is recaptured while offering a lollipop to a 10-year-old girl outside the Bantay Bata compound

8: Sun Cellular launches new promo: “Unlimited free txt and unlimited free call for one year” Smart, Globe denounce promo as “predatory pricing;” NTC’s intervention sought

7: Ninoy Aquino’s lost diary is found; page 8 entry reveals own plot to assassinate himself to spark civil unrest against Marcos. Now that explains the immortal line, “The Filipino is worth dying for.”

6: Senate’s security camera shows Jamby Madrigal enjoying a drinking a session with Biazon, Honasan, Lacson and Trillanes.

5: Governor/Father Ed Panlilio wins highest pot ever in Pampanga jueteng draw.

4: Millions of Filipinos heap praises on Comelec for a truly honest, peaceful and orderly election in Maguindanao, Lanao, and other southern provinces.

3: Clad in baro’t saya, Gretchen Barretto leaves their house without bodyguards, rides a jeepney along Taft Avenue, shops at Divisoria, and then prays the rosary at Quiapo church.

2: During a brownout in Malacañang one stormy night, a half-conscious First Gentleman Mike Arroyo mistook President Arroyo and daughter Luli for two huge candles and lit them both. They suffered second-degree burns.

And the number 1 scandal we’d like to see…

1: Yilmaz Bektas reveals real reason behind his separation with Ruffa: “I am very in love on Raymond. He must in love me also. I feeling it.”

What’s News? Bad News!

What’s News: Senator Lacson denies lusting for blue ribbon
Bad News: Senator Lapid admits lusting for Red Ribbon (sweet!)

What’s News: MILF says kidnappers of Italian priest demand millions of pesos
Bad News: MILF elated; the higher the ransom, the higher the commission

What’s News: Speakership threatens to divide Liberal Party
Bad News: Was it even united to begin with?

What’s News: Imee Marcos quits politics to write book about his dad
Bad News: Fiction lovers couldn’t wait for it

What’s News: Arroyo won’t require Cabinet men to resign
Bad News: DSWD chief Esperanza Cabral is worried; she’s a woman

What’s News: PNP to pull out Ruffa’s bodyguards in a month
Bad News: Only if they could last that long with Annabelle Rama around

What’s News: Inquirer is the most read broadsheet
Bad News: That’s according to the Inquirer

HEADLESS

OFW Executed

An OFW in Saudi was executed for killing a Pakistani national who tried to molest him. Now that’s ironic. For not allowing a Pakistani to give him a head, he was beheaded.

OFW Executed II

Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita, the Cabinet’s most senior member, says he is very surprised to hear about the execution of an OFW just now. Ermita’s reaction is not really surprising ‘coz he’s very busy helping his defeated son reverse the results of the vice gubernatorial race in Batangas.

Jalosjos & the OFW

Malacañang says the commutation of the sentence of former congressman Romeo Jalosjos will decongest the national penitentiary. And by not doing its best to help the convicted OFW who was beheaded in the Middle East recently, Malacañang indirectly helped decongest the Arabian penitentiary.

Optimists

A Social Weather Stations survey showed that 32% of FIlipinos look forward to an improved quality of life and a better economy this year. The rest are staunch oppositionists and extreme leftists.

Estrada Trial

The oral arguments in the plunder trial of deposed president Joseph Estrada are scheduled Friday, June 15. Rumors say die-hard Estrada supporters John Osmeña and Ernesto Maceda wanted to join the oral arguments but the Sandiganbayan denied their request.

For Ruffa’s Safety

The Philippine National Police assigned three cops to escort tv host-actress Ruffa Gutierrez. That’s three armed policemen – two to protect her against Yilmaz, and another against Dolly Anne Carvajal.

For Ruffa’s Safety II

Reports say Ruffa Gutierrez got three escorts. Years ago, she was the escort.

Enjoy your weekend!

SPECIAL

Special

On the eve of the country’s 109th Independence Day celebration, US Ambassador Kristie Kenney said the Philippines is a “special place.” Oh yeah! And we have “special people.” Just look at the type of politicians we elect. Very special.

Koko’s Offer

An election supervisor in South Cotabato claimed that the camp of opposition senatorial candidate Aquilino “Koko” Pimentel III sought “their help” by offering bribe. However, the poll exec declined the offer because the bribe was a year-long supply of pork and beans. They were Muslims.

Ruffa & the Inquirer

Ruffa Gutierrez lambasted, on national television, the “Philippine National Inquirer” for publishing the wrong photo of her first husband, Richard Daloia. But the Philippine Daily Inquirer will not apologize for the mistake – unless Ruffa says sorry for misstating the paper’s name.

Ruffa & the Inquirer II

Ruffa Gutierrez lambasted the Inquirer for publishing the wrong photo of her alleged first husband, Richard Daloia on the paper’s front page last Sunday. According to the PDI, the photo was sent by a reader. It turned out however that the reader is a regular subscriber of the Philippine Star.

Kissing Record

For the second time, Hungary broke the Philippines’ record for simultaneous kissing when 6,400 Hungarian couples locked lips for 10 seconds last Saturday. But the Philippines is no longer interested to break the record. Instead it will attempt to set the record for a new category – extra-judicial kissing.

Bobby Bruised

Bobby Pacquiao was defeated by Mexican Humberto Soto in their superfeatherweight non-title bout Sunday. Bobby lost badly. Kuya Manny’s got company.

SHOWBIZZY WEEKEND

Buhay

Two factions of the party-list polls top vote-getter Buhay are in a bitter fight over the right to assign nominees for Congress. Now they’re just talking about nominations. Imagine what will happen when Congress starts allocating millions of pesos in pork barrel funds.

JV’s Wedding

Reports say 60 cops were deployed in and out of the Pinaglabanan Church in San Juan to secure the wedding of Erap’s favorite son, JV Ejercito. Twenty were assigned inside while 40 were deployed outside – just to make sure Jinggoy couldn’t go near the church.

Preserving Our Languages

Instead of focusing solely on the national language, Filipino, the Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino will focus on the development, propagation, and preservation of the country’s other dialects and languages. Members of the commission were inspired by Annabelle Rama. They find her language “really entertaining.”

The Buzz

A photo showing actor John Estrada smooching with actress Gretchen Barretto has started to circulate on the Internet. Ooops, she did it again.

Gretchen Barretto kissing John Estrada in a birthday party?!? Now we know why Tony Boy Cojuangco has been losing hair lately.

Gretchen Barretto and John Estrada kissing each other captured by a Nokia N95 phone camera during Rufa Mae Quinto’s birthday party. Imelda Cojuangco is throwing another party.

Revealed

Rumors that Boy Abunda is afflicted with Alopecia areata, an autoimmune disease causing hair loss is false. The PR expert started to lose hair when he handled celebrities like Kris Aquino, Mike Defensor, and more recently, Gretchen Barretto.

Yilmaz on Ruffa & Kids

Yilmaz Bektas was quoted to have said that he’ll allow his kids to stay with their mom Ruffa Gutierrez “as long as she’s decent.” A decent Ruffa. Yilmaz may not be that fluent in English but he sure knows how to use oxymoron in his statements.

Ruffa on Yilmaz

Ruffa Gutierrez finally admitted two things on tv today, Saturday: that she was indeed married before she met Yilmaz and that Yilmaz would physically abuse her when they were still together in Istanbul. None of these made any impact though. These days, the public has more interest on what Annabelle Rama would say.

Enjoy your long weekend!

TEAM UNITY: This Is For You

AS I WRITE THIS POST, the top 10 winners in the senatorial race are being proclaimed by the Commission on Elections.

The victors include 6 from the opposition, 2 independent, and 2 from the administration. Yes, only two administration candidates made it. This, despite Team Unity’s prediction of a 12-0 sweep. What could be more frustrating than that?!

Well, to ease the pain, this post is sincerely dedicated to the members of Team Unity and the party’s political advisers.

Top 10 Movie Remakes Inspired by Team Unity’s Debacle in the May 14 Polls

10: The No Luck Club

9: Camote

8: Juan Flew Over the Koko’s Nest (Subtitle: The Fight of Juan Miguel Zubiri)

7: Boto, Boto Paano Ka Giniba?

6: Belat: Cultural Learnings of Gloria For Make Benefit Glorious Opposition of the Philippines

5: The Silence of the Lampaso

4: Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas… Ang Bilangan

3: Y Tu Mama Tambak (Ang Lamang ng Kalaban)

2: Bukas Luluhod ang mga Talo

And the No. 1 movie remake inspired by Team Unity’s debacle in the May 14 polls…

1: Ocean’s 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 18th, 19th, 21st, 23rd, 24th and 26th Places

Better luck next… hmm, in 2010. If there would be polls.

HOLY VISIT!

The President & the Pope

President Arroyo had a private meeting with Pope Benedict XVI at the Vatican that lasted about 10 minutes. Had it been a confession, it would have lasted 10 hours.

The President & the Pope II

The President reportedly told Pope Benedict XVI that the Philippines was not just the only Catholic country in Asia, but the “most devout.” Much to her surprise, the Pope was rumored to have replied in Filipino: “In fairness, hindi halata.”

The President & the Pope III

President Arroyo brought an image of the Sto. Niño Dormido for the Pope as a gift. Unverified reports say the aging pontiff couldn’t identify at first which one was the real image: the president or the Sto. Niño.

In Other News…

Recto Concedes

Administration candidate Ralph Recto has conceded defeat in the senatorial elections. He couldn’t wait to start working as governor of Batangas.

Lacson’s Committee

Re-elected senator Panfilo Lacson admitted that he wanted to chair the Senate Blue-Ribbon Committee. Lacson, however, denied that he wanted to rename it “Senate Pink-Ribbon Committee.”

No To GO

Tito Sotto says he has no plans of going back to the opposition. His priority now is to go back to his wife.

Still Together

Lala Sotto, daughter of defeated senatorial candidate Tito Sotto denied that her dad and her mom, Helen Gamboa (who left for the US during the campaign period) have separated. Well, Ogie Alcasid also denied that he and wife Michelle were estranged. A few months later…

UP Protest

Militant students of UP Diliman staged a picket in protest of the 300-percent increase in tuition at the state university. The demonstrators insist that money alone does not guarantee quality students or education. Nope, they’re not taking a dig at La Sallistas.

Mark Jimenez

After filing cases of estafa against his own children a couple of weeks back, former Manila Congressman Mark Jimenez has filed a string of estafa cases against his wife, son, and sister-in-law. So don’t be surprised, if one of these days, he decides to file a similar suit against himself.

Kris Switches

Kris Aquino has decided to sign up with another beauty clinic considered as an indirect competitor of the Belo Medical Clinic she used to endorse. An excited James Yap has reportedly conducted an ocular of the rooms in the clinic.

Top 5 Reasons Why Kris Aquino Left the Belo Medical Clinic

5: Facialists on her new clinic are really bad looking. James could visit the clinic as often as he wants and she wouldn’t be alarmed.

4: She’s taken a closer look at Vicky Belo’s face and she realized, if the Belo Medical Clinic failed to make its owner beautiful, how do you expect it to do wonders on other people?

3: The last time she underwent a cosmetic enhancement at Dr. Belo’s Clinic, people thought she was Noynoy when she emerged out of the operating room.

2: As Belo endorser, she didn’t get a raise. But her husband did – when Hope was around.

And the No. 1 reason why Kris Aquino left the Belo Medical Clinic in favor of its competitor…

1: Wala lang. Pa-kyut. Papansin. Pa-Kris.